Don’t Tell

Boy Wonder: “I like that movie.”

Me: “Seriously? You like ‘The Sound of Music’?”

Boy Wonder: “Yeah. Why? You don’t?”

Me: “Meh. You are so not my child. You are your father’s child.”

Boy Wonder: “I like some of the things you like . . . such as trouble.”

(He gets that smart-mouth from me, too. Shhhh)

While Watching the Closing Ceremony

Me: “If I were London I’d be embarrassed right now. I don’t think they should even bother with an opening ceremony in four years.  Just march the athletes into the stadium, ‘Hey kids, wave at the camera’, raise a few flags, sing a few anthems, and break out the brew.”

IZ: “Well, you know who has to be worried right about now, Vancouver, BC.”

Me: “No kidding. They could just spend the whole time pointing out that they have snow and reciting all the names for it. ‘Snow. Snow. Snow,’ two hours later, ‘Snow. Snow. Snow. Did you know no two snowflakes are alike? Look, we have SNOW.'”

Boy Wonder, “No, you’re saying that all wrong. That should be, “Snow, eh. Snow, eh. Snow, eh. Did you know no two snowflakes are alike, eh?”

We love you Canada, but seriously—go OLD SCHOOL and just introduce the athletes, eh?

But He Didn’t Say I Couldn’t Tell You

Boy Wonder: “You cannot sell this.”

Me: “Why not?”

Boy Wonder: “Because I LOVE it!”

Me: “Yeah, but would you really use it? I mean, you’d carry that onto a plane?”

Boy Wonder: “Sure! It makes me laugh, Mom.”

Me: “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly  make those for 11 year olds; frankly, I didn’t think it would appeal to your age group.”

Boy Wonder: “Yeah, I know. It’s for little kids and adults who don’t care what people think. . . So don’t tell my friends, m’kay?”

Me: “Nope, I won’t tell your friends.”

It’s Good to Be Five

Yesterday, I had the most delightful conversation with my favorite five year old on the planet. Five is such a special age; but this little boy takes my breath away. When he was three, he drew me a picture chock full of golden yellow scribbles. I asked him what he called his picture and he said, “Luck. It’s for you.” It hangs on my refrigerator to this day.


M: So do you want me to tell you something?

Me: Sure!

M: I love birds.

Me: Really? (You can see what a witty conversationalist I am here!)

M: Yes. I love wild birds and pet birds. . .

Me: So, you love all birds, then.

M: Well, no. Not the dead ones. The dead ones make me sad.


Me: So what is your favorite bird, M?

M: Oh, I don’t think I have a favorite.

Me: I’m very fond of Ravens, myself. And I like Hummingbirds, too.

M: I just don’t see how they survive on only sugar water. It can’t be very good for them.


M: You want me to tell you something?

Me: Sure!

M: I had a bad dream. I don’t know if it was a nightmare because I’ve never had nightmare in my entire life.

Me: What’s the difference between a nightmare and a bad dream?

M: Well, my bad dream had Harry Potter and Hermione in it. But none of the teachers. And Ron was not there either. Just Harry and Hermione.

It’s good to be five. It’s even better to be asked, “So, do you want me to tell you something?”



Boy Wonder: “Ack! Listen to that girl screeching on the radio. That’s terrible! She’s not going to have much of a career singing like that!”

Me: “Well, this is one of her first hits. She’s gone on to be a huge music star.”

Boy Wonder: “REALLY? You’re kidding, right? Because that’s not singing.”

Me: “Seriously! I think she’s had a few singing lessons since then.”

Boy Wonder: “Who is she?”

Me: “Ever heard of Madonna?”