Me: “If I were London I’d be embarrassed right now. I don’t think they should even bother with an opening ceremony in four years.  Just march the athletes into the stadium, ‘Hey kids, wave at the camera’, raise a few flags, sing a few anthems, and break out the brew.”

IZ: “Well, you know who has to be worried right about now, Vancouver, BC.”

Me: “No kidding. They could just spend the whole time pointing out that they have snow and reciting all the names for it. ‘Snow. Snow. Snow,’ two hours later, ‘Snow. Snow. Snow. Did you know no two snowflakes are alike? Look, we have SNOW.'”

Boy Wonder, “No, you’re saying that all wrong. That should be, “Snow, eh. Snow, eh. Snow, eh. Did you know no two snowflakes are alike, eh?”

We love you Canada, but seriously—go OLD SCHOOL and just introduce the athletes, eh?