Hi! My name is Wende and sometimes I melt down. Ok, scratch that. I melt down a lot.Â
This week I had several melt downs. And it’s only Wednesday. I thought you might like to read a list of my melt downs. You’ll either commiserate, because you too are a melter-downer. OR. You can go around feeling superior because you never melt down. Either way, I get bonus points for being helpful.
So, let’s review my melt downs. Shall we? Yes, yes we shall. You’re on my blog you do as I say:
- Wende melted down in Safeway this week because of a pregnancy scare.
Ok, I’m going to let that sink in. And then I’m going to tell you that it wasn’t really a scare as much as a case of bad math. I get stressed out and I forget how to count the days in a week and kinda add stuff. When I am stressed there are extra days in the week and that makes me LATE. Really, really late.
- Wende melted down this week because she was late and had to meet a new doctor.
I don’t know why I got all worked up about that. But I did. It turned out better than ok and now I feel a little foolish that I let it get to me. Not as foolish as I feel for not being able to count. And I was so stressed out about meeting a new doctor that I blew through a case of Diet Coke with Lime and convinced IZ that I could use another case. So we went to Safeway which led to my next melt down.
- Wende melted down because she’s kinda over caffeinated. And then thought she was having heart issues until she remembered exactly how many Diet Cokes with Lime she’d had.
And then I felt foolish. Not as foolish as I felt for not being able to count or getting worked up about meeting a perfectly nice human being. But pretty darn foolish for googling “heart attack symptoms in women who might be pregnant.”
In my defense, I was late but not nearly as late at my bad math suggested. And really, the late night runs for pizza and diet Coke should have been a tip off that all was normal.
But, you know and I know that cravings are a symptom of pregnancy and vasectomies do fail. Probably not 10 year old vasectomies, but I was delusional because I was late. So I bought Diet Coke with Lime. And I drank too much of it and forgot how to count and suggested too loudly in the dairy aisle of Safeway,
“You don’t think I could be pregnant do you? I mean, your little swimmers didn’t get ambitions and break free or anything?”
And that’s when IZ melted down. In Safeway. Buying me more Diet Coke with Lime. Because even he thought the late night pizza run was suspicious. I don’t even like Pizza.
LOL! Oh I so needed that. And yet I didn’t. But I did.
By the way, just how many Diet Limes *did* you consume? Or did you lose count of that too. 😉
I have to say, it is very difficult trying to take over the world and keep count for you at the same time…
Hee… I’m sorry I’m such a distraction. 😀 ~W
You absolutely crack me up.
I, however, reign high as the melt down queen. And don’t you take my title away or I may have a melt down.
Oh, I’m so going to need proof of your credentials, Bari. ~W
It’s in the air, lady! I’ve been at the center of Meltdown Central South this week. And I can’t even blame Diet Cokes!
Yeah, what is it? Let’s blame August. 😀 ~W
Both of my children were “blessed surprises”. They know this and it is a source of sweet laughter.
Fertile Myrtle here.
I went to the vet after the second one.
I too went caffeine free after my body started playing the theme from the lone ranger at night in my chest! It sure helped stop that.
I am sure you melt down card has many slots left to fill, you are raising a kiddo yes? Glad all is well.
Ah, yes. IZ did the deed since my system is so wacky. I seriously limited my caffeine intake, but I have these moments when a Diet Coke with lime sounds absolutely PERFECT. And then I drink more than I should. ~W
Melt downs? Nothing happening here–yeah, right. I think you’ve read about every single one I’ve had, including the last ones about home repair and exterior paint colors WITH MORE TO COME. I’m glad that you’re not PG, and that Diet coke with lime is good. I’m a caffeine free DC drinker because I sure don’t need more caffeine to make me crazier! 🙂
Yeah, I usually drink CF Diet Coke. But August has a way of making me crave the good stuff. ~W
Thanks for starting my morning with a smile 🙂
You’re welcome! Any time. 😀 ~W
LOL Poor IZ.
Thank you for the real-life lesson in why math skills are important 🙂
I don’t need math skills; I have IZ. 😀 ~W
You are very brave and honest in reporting not only the fact that you melt-down but why. As for me, I never melt down. Ever. At all. Not even a little bit.
LOLing at Capricorn Cringes post and wondering if my calendar skills lessons should all focus on multiples of 28 . . . just so my 4th graders are prepared for future late night Safeway runs themselves! 🙂
Oh, you can try to teach them math, and most of them will take to it, Liza. But some of us, well… we’re special. 😀 ~W
I melt down a lot.
I’ll even melt down about YOUR melt downs, if you need me to.
Oh, no. You are a completely different kind of hormonal and I’m SO not adding to that. Ahem. 😀 ~W
I’m so glad you are human, like me!
Suzy, I’m so human. . . wait for it. . . I’m SUPER human. And my super power is I don’t do math, but can beguile the world (IZ) into doing it for me. ~W
I love you. And I might be giggling at you too 😉
You wait. You have THREE, count them, THREE girls. *snarf* And I love you too. ~W
Honey…I’m a melter, and have found myself in a rather LARGE puddle this week. I keep trying to assign it to something…and the only thing I can come up with is the “anniversary” of my divorce? Which was FOUR years ago…which means I was much cuter and hopeful at that age than I am now…which leads to other meltdowns…maybe I should follow suit and blog about my meltdown??? And, I’m sure your Diet Coke added to the hysteria of caffeinated fun…but the good thing with cravings is that they pass. Usually they morph into something else…but still!!
Blog away! It’s therapeutic. 😀 (I tend to blog AFTER the event. Because blogging during a melt down is dangerous. Like, uh, drinking Diet Coke with lime.) ~W
Okay, I’m officially LOLing even though I disapprove of typing “LOL”.
So the moral of the story is to give you a wide berth in the store? Or just say to the kids. “Don’t look at the lady over there. She’s ODing on Diet Coke with lime.
Whoa, you might want to find yourself a different grocery store to go to. Safeway seems to have a baaad effect on you.
I can’t complete with your meltdown numbers. I rarely have them. But when I have them, I have them BIG. Most recently, as we’ve been thinking about buying a home in Portland, the meltdowns have been over missing New York and my family. Caffeine definitely plays a role in my meltdowns, too. I am one tightly wound lady after the pot or so of coffee that I swig throughout the day.
And in regard to your last post, I’d like to know what comes of the little piranha who touched your son’s hair. Sheesh!