I opened up the refrigerator and reaching for my tub of yogurt I encountered a void. Pat, pat, pat, nothingness! Small problem, the space where my yogurt usually resides was empty. Open space in our refrigerator is a sight to behold and it should have been my first clue that there was a problem.
Instead of questioning this anomaly, I tore the refrigerator apart looking for my yogurt. Out came the milk, out came the leftovers, out came all the produce in the produce bins. Why do we have wilted parsley? Wait, is that parsley? I found several containers of assorted dairy products well past their expiration dates, but no yogurt. As I stood there, surrounded by the contents of our refrigerator, I started to fume. Someone had eaten the last of my yogurt. There was going to be a reckoning.
Now, you should know, this is important stuff. Yogurt and a heaping scoop of chocolate protein powder is what passes for dessert around here. More specifically, it’s what passes for CHOCOLATE. If you close your eyes and pretend really hard, it sorta tastes like chocolate cheesecake. Or, at least that’s what I tell myself. I am the Mayor of Denial and the Grand Empress of Delusion.
Nobody should be messing with my chocolate fix. Nuh uh. So, I restocked the refrigerator minus the expired goods. I whipped myself around and began a stiff march up the stairs to IZ’s office to give him a piece of my mind, when I noticed something in the corner of my eye.
It was my yogurt. On the kitchen counter. Where I’d put it about 60 seconds before I opened up the refrigerator and noticed it missing.
It’s a good thing I saw the yogurt before I got to his office; because clearly I can’t afford to lose another piece of my mind.
I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious!!!!!!!!! 🙂
_______________________________________
Uh, YOU WAIT. 😀 Oh my goodness, it’s amazing the things I’m forgetting these days. ~W
See what happens when you eat things that only “pass” for chocolate? You’re missing all those good antioxidants that come from eating the Dagoba DARK chocolate bars. uh-huh…you are. On that note…I truly miss yogurt (stupid lactose intolerant thing…I have to substitute it with soy yogurt…it passes…sigh.)
________________________________________
It’s the funniest thing, I’ve been such a fan of dark chocolate for so long—but lately, I’ve been craving milk chocolate. We had a big Costco bag of Dove assorted and I ate all the blue wrapped squares first! Of course, no more Dove—as it’s not cruelty free and we’ve sworn off anything that isn’t. I’ve only ever had dark chocolate from Dagoba. I wonder if they make a good milk bar? I know, I know…. no lectures about the leche. 😀 ~W
Ohhhhh, that sounds like something I’ve done before. Only my family received a lashing before it was pointed out to me that I had placed said item on top of the refrigerator.
________________________________________
Oh, yeah, I got lucky this time. I swear, I’m losing it! ~W
So familiar. I have hunted for 5 minutes for my keys before remembering that I had just put them in my coat pocket. I must have a very distractable mind.
________________________________________
I tell you, this is frightening. I see Ginko in my future. 😀 ~W
I thought it was just me.
I am pretty sure I said to a student today . . . “hey you! You — with the name!” It was a bad mind day, I’m telling ya!
My daughter always helps me when I’m looking for my keys — “are they where they are SUPPOSED to be?” Drat her and her agile little brain. Harumph!
________________________________________
Oh, I know… those agile brains. I feel like I’m losing it. Part of it, clearly, is that I’ve got too much going on and I’m feeling the pressure. But the other part has got to the fringes of the “p” word. As there are other symptoms I’m not going to chat about, ahem, I feel pretty convinced that I’m moving that direction. And it’s scary and irritating.
But your story about “You with the name” made me laugh so hard. I’ve been forgetting names a ton this week. I’m THIS close to demanding everyone wear nametags in my presence. SERIOUSLY. ~W
Oh, Wende, Wende. First it’s yogurt, then glasses, then … no. I’m not going to tell you what happens next. It’s a surprise 🙂
________________________________________
You can’t tell me because you can’t remember. Ho! ~W
Really a good mind is hard to come by, and yours is ever so good.
________________________________________
Mine is ever so fragile. It would be worrisome if the Internets did not assure me that this is perfectly NORMAL. Fine time for me to be normal, though. ~W
I’ve gone looking for my cell phone that I already have in my hand. Wait til you hit that stage… *sigh*
________________________________________
I’m going to skip that part by never getting a cell phone. 😀 ~W
And this yogurt with chocolate protein powder sounds delectable. I might have to look into it. May I use vanilla yogurt? Because that is my yogurt of choice. FF vanilla. 🙂
________________________________________
Yes, yes, yes. I use Vanilla. I tried the concoction with vanilla protein powder first—and it’s fine. I guess. But the chocolate really does make it taste like cheesecake. I top it with Cocoa Beach Granola from Kashi. YUMM
Oh… and the photo of your computer makes me sad, sad, sad. I mourn Keri. How’s the chocolate business?? 😀 ~W
Vanilla works! And I can confirm this tastes like chocolate cheesecake… and is quite good. YUMMY!
________________________________________
I know it’s not that bad, is it? I’m kinda proud of this, for some reason. I don’t know why. 😀 ~W
Yesterday, I was hand-sewing on our sofa, mending DH’s pants. I held the needle in my teeth for a minute while I snipped the thread off, and then I lost the needle. I said to DH, I cant find the needle! dont move! Thinking it was in the sofa somewhere. After fifteen minutes of searching (which included moving the animals to another room, lest they be stabbed) and a lot of cursing, DH said, how many needles did you have, besides that one in your mouth?
YES. I had held it in my teeth the whole time.
I will never live it down.
__________________________________
Yeah, I don’t think you will! Cursing WITH the needle in your mouth? That’s impressive. 😉 ~W