A year or so ago, an anonymous reader took offense to something I said and then left a scathing review of me by stating that I “couldn’t be more self-absorbed if I was made of half water and half paper towels.” I have seriously considered putting a variation of that criticism on a T-shirt with my blog address beneath it. In part, because I find it absolutely fascinating that anyone would think the venture of blogging wasn’t an exercise in being self absorbed. (this same reader has a habit of trolling the posts involved so much, that I finally made the posts private… he’s not returned, thank goodness!) And also because it was just so witty.

However, the criticism sticks with me, despite my own assertion of “my blog, I’ll write what I want to write.” In truth, I really don’t write what I want to write all that often. Like most of us, I censor with abandon. And I encase all my narcissistic tendencies in fuzzy wrappers that seem warm and inviting… hoping most of you won’t notice that once again I’ve written a pointless post about… me. Yes, I’m foolishly trying to have my cake and eat it too.

So, part of me cringes to post anything as superficial as answers about my beauty regime. Or how it is that I “look so good while feeling so poorly.” I mean, there isn’t a fuzzy wrapper to put on this. This is me writing a post about ME… and not my deep thoughts on war or my pithy perspective on religion… No, this is a post about beauty products and haircuts and everything superficial. My only solution, besides not writing this piece is to put all this superficiality under the cut.

So, if you find yourself disgusted and appalled by my nerve (Uh, my blog!!), then… just look at the pretty picture. M’kay. (although, heaven only knows why you might be reading this blog in the first place, since I’m renown for my uh, absorbency!)

Not that anyone will go back and read comments since I’ve taken forever to address them… but I did manage to slog through answering the backlog of 50+ comments from last week. I hope I didn’t miss any of you. About half way through that exercise I realized I was thankful not to be all that popular! Not because I don’t enjoy answering comments… I do! I’m thankful for all the input I receive… I just can’t imagine getting hundreds of comments each post.

And speaking of comments, it was a little overwhelming to see all those comments regarding my haircut in one pass. Thank you, all, for your kind words. I feel like I should address some of those comments in a more public way and set the record straight. So, here goes… my little foray into narcissism.

Lots of you commented that I actually looked good for someone so sick. Here’s the thing. . . I’ve struggled with a chronic illness for 17 years now and I hear this phrase (“You look too good to be sick!”) more often than I’d like. So much so, that it tends to make my blood boil a bit… like looking good is a tell-tale to my condition, or that you can judge a book by a cover.

Truth is, I’m vain. Plain and simple. I want to look good, because most of the time I don’t feel good. And so, I’ve figured out that looking good at least helps with the sense of being “out of control of one’s own body.” It falls into the realm of “managing the disease” instead of being managed by the disease. Oh the difference a preposition will make!

Anyhow, I learned a long time ago that looking good was prerequisite for my sanity. Even if it fuels comments dismissing my illness. And I boil it all down to one word people. MASCARA. (and lipgloss and never leaving the house without either or a pair of earrings!) No, mascara is your best friend when you’re feeling crappy. But here’s the thing… you need to throw away your black mascara. No, seriously. If you’re older than 26 wearing black mascara, you’re making a HUGE mistake. If you MUST wear black, (and I dare you to try a great shade of brown! You’ll be back telling me how much you LOVE me, you want to DATE me… heh) find a soft black.

However that being stated… Mascara is tricky living in the Northwest. It rains here. A lot. And more often than not, mascara ends up making you look like you slammed down shots all night and dragged your sorry self to work without ever having gone to bed. What’s a girl to do? Uh, yeah… use this stuff. I can’t rave more about Kiss Me Mascara. When it comes to this mascara, only buy the black if your look is Goth Vampireish. Seriously. If you wear black, the dark brown will do it— if you usually wear brown (good for you!) then the medium brown is terrific.

This post has gone on far too long, but I can’t bring myself to write two entries… so I’m going to press on. Who’s with me? What? Y’all stopped reading at the break, didn’t you? Oh, well… I talk to myself on a regular basis… and since I just ADORE the sound of my own voice… I’m doing fine here.

Haircuts, dye and products, OH MY!

Oh yes, yes I do dye my hair. Yep! I cover all that gray that is coming in, because, uh, yeah, I’m vain. 😀 I’ve always felt a bit sheepish for dying my own hair—but as I’m not a blond and don’t have highlights, it’s manageable. I was delighted when the uber chic hairstylist complimented my dye job last week. I use Clairol’s Nice-n-Easy in Dark Reddish Brown which is pretty close to my natural color before I had a baby. It’s #112A and can be difficult to find, but worth the hunt. In our area, the only place that carries it is Rite-Aide.

As for haircuts… if you dye you hair never, never let anyone use a razor to cut your hair. The razor will cause your ends to split and you can actually walk out with more split ends than when you walked in. And hair thinners are a big NO if you have any texture in your hair.

When it comes to haircuts, you get what you pay for up to a point. If you have time to research a great salon, I recommend it. Look around, when you see a woman with a fabulous cut who has hair similar in texture to yours, bribe her with coffee and beg for a stylist reference. It’s never a bad idea to scope out a potential stylist before you let them scissor your hair… I’ve been known to show up early and check out a few of their cuts! Always get a consult before you let anyone cut your hair. Most salons will do this free!

But, let’s face it, sometimes you just need a haircut now and don’t have the time to research. And in those cases I recommend you google search for an Aveda Salon (preferably a Concept or Lifestyle salon) in your area. You don’t have to book with the most senior stylist, but do make sure you get someone who is Aveda trained. Most Aveda salons require this for their stylists, but not all do, so make sure you ask.

As for my cut, it’s a really simple cut. Long layers, tapered in front. The shortest layer comes to my chin in the front and tapers longer toward the back. My bangs are also chin length. My cut is able to be worn curly or straight. To straighten it, I use a high-end ceramic flat iron. This is important… if you have to skimp anywhere in haircut, a flat iron is NOT the place to do it. Seriously, it’s better to cut your hair for a curly cut and skip the flat iron if you’re not willing to invest good money on an iron. Cheap irons will kill your hair, and long hair especially needs babying!

Speaking of babying… here’s a little secret you may not know: you’re probably over washing your hair. Solution: stop washing your hair daily. I mean it! Frizzy hair does not need to be washed every day. Shower every day, please… but skip the shampoo and conditioner. It’s a little counter-intuitive, because we associate clean hair with healthy hair; but unless you have really greasy glands, over washing your hair will only strip it of the nutrients to keep it strong and healthy. As well, if you aren’t washing it every day, you’re probably not using a hairdryer on it either.

I use Aveda Smooth Infusion products (shampoo, conditioner, styling formula) when I can get them. They really do make a difference on the frizz. They are pricey but a little goes a LONG way. They smell fabulous and are not tested on animals. When I run out and my stylist’s stash is back-ordered, I use Frizz Ease products to hold me over.

Whew. I think I’m done. Y’all are going to think twice before paying me any more compliments, aren’t you?