Day Four: Walking and Dreaming

Day Four: Me and my garden Keens on the porch steps waiting to walk with IZ. I’m posting this photo of my well worn  porch steps because I’m hoping this is the summer I’ll actually get to painting them.

With or Without

Pesto and Roses—Kitchen and Garden — The beginnings of a summer list.

Tomorrow marks the Summer Solstice and the official beginning of summer. And as is my custom, I’m crafting my summer to-do list. Typically I’d have a well established list by now, littered with crafty projects and too many baked goods. This year the list feels more nebulous. More like categories of things I want to do, need to do, instead of specific tangible goals.

That scares me. Because I know that without concrete statements and specific goal posts, I’m likely to wile the summer away doing not much of anything. However, those categories, like the “get house ready for the in-laws visit”, seem overwhelming. The amount of items on that list alone makes me shudder.

This is what a year of ignoring your yard and house-hold to-do list will get you. Not that we’ve been in a financial place for action—but last year’s (and we still wait on the bank, in limbo even now) debacle with the bank left us emotionally crippled. It’s hard to consider “doing” when you’re so busy just “coping.”

But this year, spurred on by the specter of my mother-in-law crossing the threshold of this pit we call home, I’m motived. And overwhelmed.  There’s no more time for worry and inaction, pity nor fear. Unless it’s the fear of being deemed an inadequate housekeeper. Then, I say, use the fear! No, instead it’s time to get cracking. (Man, I love cliches)

So, a list. I’m crafting a list today. It’s still unclear to me if that list will be a self-soothing category list because that seems more manageable than an itemized list, which feels a bit like  being attacked by wild cats; or if I will accomplish the impossible and herd the details into submission. But either way, by the end of the day I’m hopeful that I will at least have some direction for the next 94 days. Because summer begins tomorrow—with or without my list.

Do you craft a summer to-do list? What’s on yours?

Raspberry Twist

It’s not blackberry season yet, it’s not really raspberry season either. But when Safeway had a “buy one get one free” deal on raspberries, I tucked that nagging thought, “It’s kinda early for raspberries” into the far reaches of my mind with the unsorted laundry, and scooped up 2 pints of jewel toned beauty. I’m a sucker for beautiful things. And a deal.
But what to do with slightly not ripe, but really pretty raspberries?

After yesterday’s post, baking is probably a bit counter productive to the whole weight loss thing, eh?

Point of clarification: after reading all of your lovely, well meaning comments I realize that I might not have been as clear as I needed to be. I’m shattered that the dress doesn’t look good in photographs. And that I haven’t found just the right dress to blend into the woodwork at the upcoming weddings. I’m actually feeling pretty good about the weight loss. Yes, I’d like it to move faster, but I know what I’m up against. And progress is progress. However, I will cop to being utterly frustrated with this haircut. I hate it. It’s not an inner beauty or self esteem issue, it’s a “I shouldn’t have let her cut that top layer so short so that I have to torture the heck out of it in order to get it to lie flat” issue.

Why didn’t I just say that in first place? I don’t know. Sometimes, I’m as clear as mud.

Anyhow, here I am with 2 pints of pretty and they’re kinda too tart to just munch. I’ve decided that they need to be in a baked-good, diet schmiet. So, I’m making up the ultimate in coffee cakes, “Marionberry Sour Cream Coffee Cake” with a twist. Because it’s not blackberry season, yet. But, it’s always coffeecake season.

Recipe after the jump.

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It’s Not You, It’s Your Weather

Cecile Brunner climbing my arbor on a Grey day in June.

What’s up with this weather? Oh yeah, it’s June on the North Coast. For those of you who live in diverse climates and are already tanned and complaining about the heat and humidity—I’m trying not to resent you. I kinda do, tho. I see your Facebook status talking about your flirty little sandals and the neato keen colored lights in you pool and I think very, very bad thoughts about you.

I’m sorry. It’s poor form. My sense of ethics and fair play and being genuinely happy for your good fortune is moldy.

I wonder if that would fly in a Great Judgement scenario? Dear God, I was petty and thought malicious things because I was green with mold and envy. There was something in the water, God. It’s not really my fault?!

I’m guessing not. Good thing I don’t put much stock in those scenarios. (God’s going to punt me straight to purgatory and LEAVE me there, don’t bother praying for my water-logged soul.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, you’re enjoying summer and I’m busy resenting you.

Welcome to June.