IZ: So, for Christmas, I was thinking I would give you my undying love.

He’s sweet, isn’t he? Makes you want to hurt him.

Me: What? I already have that, you don’t get to re-gift!

IZ: Well, what are you giving me this year?

Me: I have no earthly idea.

IZ: What? No Lexus with a big red bow in the driveway?

Yeah, you see where this conversation was headed? He’s not so sweet now, is he?

Me: Tell you what I’ll do—I can put a big red bow on your Pacifica.

IZ: What happened to no re-gifting?

***

In the world of Old Testament studies, we call this a case of comparative evil. See, in a few days, he’s going to pitch getting the new Wii and when I give him that look, he’s going to point out that in comparison to a new Lexus, the Wii is a bargain. And I’m going to laugh. In his face.

I’m so getting coal for Christmas.