I’ve been cleaning out my email in-box and found a few gems… this one is from IZ:
HOW TO BATHE THE CAT
1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, and stand on
top so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from
inside toilet; cat is enjoying this.)
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite
effective. Cat is too big to go anywhere.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and
quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air
Cat will return when hungry.
Sincerely, The dog
Sadly, this reminds me of “kitty doorbell.”