It’s On My Mind and Then I Lost It
My tea bag is mocking me.
Yeah… so a time bomb went off in my body. Everybody talks about how it’s all down hill after 40. I used to think that was all hyberbole. Now I know, they were under selling it. THOSE people should be shot for not scaring the hell out of me in my thirties. As I tend to read the L.A. Times for information, I’ll just blame them. Shame on you L.A. for not warning me better that my body was going to fall apart EXACTLY at 40. Rude!
Click, creak, click, click… oh let’s go to the ER for no good reason but we like being poor. . . pop a pill, pop a vitamin, oh my aching back, um where’s my period. . . or there it is, nice of you to join the party. . .wait, what were we talking about?. . . Â click,creak, click, click. . . repeat.
Stupid time bomb. If you don’t think your life is run by hormones, you’re probably a boy.
Where was I? OH YEAH… I’ve lost my perimenopausal mind. In terms of mental processing, I’ve always been what professionals call a nonlinear thinker. (abstract random) But I usually get to my point and I typically can keep that point in focus even as I’m bouncing from topic to topic verbally. Tangental thinkers make great writers and preachers and parents who lecture you to pieces when pushed. Â However, there’s a huge difference between weaving 6 different topics into a conversation and pouring yourself a cup of tea and walking away from it, into a completely different room and forgetting that cup of tea for hours.
What? Example:
Last week I was cleaning up melting pots. I popped one into the freezer, because it had unscented wax, I figured why waste water… just use the cold method. Then I cleaned my other two scented pots. That took maybe 5 minutes. And as I was finishing up the second I thought to myself, “I need to clean that third pot. I wonder where it is.”
I’d completely forgotten that I’d put it in the freezer. I turned the house upside down trying to remember where it could be. Didn’t I just have a few minutes ago? I didn’t find it until IZ opened the freezer hours later and handed it to me.
I’m ready to start popping pills to alleviate the symptoms from the other pills I’m already popping. I’m ready to groan when I get out of a chair. I already spend too much money on wrinkle cream and hair dye. What I’m not ready to lose is what I have left of my mind.
Which brings me to this blog. I’ve been meaning to blog for days. Â There was something on my mind, but then I lost it.
And while I was trying to figure out how to end this, Pandora loaded The Pixies’ “Where is My Mind” —Sometimes, you just have to let the Universe have the last word:
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there’s nothing in it
And you’ll ask yourself,
Where is my mind? ~~The Pixies
And you’ll ask yourself. . . where is my mind, where is my mind, where is my mind?
