Boy Wonder: “Ack! Listen to that girl screeching on the radio. That’s terrible! She’s not going to have much of a career singing like that!”

Me: “Well, this is one of her first hits. She’s gone on to be a huge music star.”

Boy Wonder: “REALLY? You’re kidding, right? Because that’s not singing.”

Me: “Seriously! I think she’s had a few singing lessons since then.”

Boy Wonder: “Who is she?”

Me: “Ever heard of Madonna?”

Boy Wonder: “Whose shoes are those?”

IZ: “Those belong to your mother.”

Boy Wonder: “Whew! For a moment there, you had me worried.”

I’m not sure which is worse: that I’ve been ruled unfashionable by the 10 year old, or that his feet are large enough he can confuse my shoes for his.

. . . I’m going to blog about you.

Boy Wonder gave his father a card yesterday that read: Happy Father’s Day to the dad who wrote the book on fatherhood. . . from the kid who inspired the chapter, “Just When You Think You Have It All Figured Out. . .” Inside he inscribed the card:

Dear Dad,

Thank you for being such a good father this year. It amazes me that you can clean, cook, play, and take on the evil wrath of mom all at the same time.

Love, Boy Wonder

PS. The wrath thing was a joke.

Sure it was kid, sure it was!

Another reason I like my birthday week: I get to be right a role-model:

Boy Wonder: Yeah, so you notice what she did?

IZ: What?

Boy Wonder: Well, she let you test for yourself; she didn’t assume when you did, that you didn’t believe her.

IZ: What’s your point?

Boy Wonder: You should do as THE MOM does! That’s my point. In fact, you should just start asking yourself before you get mad at me, “What would Mom do?”

_____________________________________

I should probably note that my kid is smart enough to have this conversation while his father was driving. And trust me, the kid is rarely on my side of ANYTHING. What can I say? My birthday week rocks!

Boy Wonder (storming through the door after walking Sophie): “MOM! This darn dog!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Boy Wonder: “WELL! She’s just refusant! She’s belligerously refusing to go through the door!”

IZ (looking at me): Good job there, English Teacher.

____________________________________

Joke’s on him, though—because I also teach creative writing. I have two words for you, Snarky Boy: HARRY POTTER. *snap snap*. (also two words.)

Wisdom from the Backseat

“Even though I’m really smart, I still have lots to learn.”

“Sometimes, I’m an expert backseat driver!”

“Dear God, thank you for lending the stars to watch over us.”

~~It’s nice to be six and still believe that the stars follow you in your car to watch over you at night. Even cooler that he knows who to thank for that miracle.

Good News:

IZ: the problem is you are experiencing a period of self-doubt…
ME: “Period”? That would be my LIFE.
IZ: Ok, an extended period of self-doubt… it will pass.

Ok… because I’m too tired to be creative, I am stealing a recent post from In Passing. If you don’t read this site regularly– What’s wrong with you?

So, here you go:

“L-o-u-i-s-i-a-n-a.”
“Where’s the ‘w’ in it, then?”
“I’m thinking you should re-think applying.”
–A woman and a man, apparently filling out a form of some sort, in line at Peet’s coffee.

how could I not post this? It features my favorite word… entropy.

“There are so many people working on solving small problems. I figure if we all worked together to solve a big one, the little ones would just fall into place.”
“And I still think it’s ridiculous.”
“I’m not talking about defeating entropy, I’m talking about making it our bitch.”
–Two guys in line for Invertigo at Great America
http://www.inpassing.org

Sometimes… I write the funny email. Usually when I need coffee.

MEMO TO: THE MUSE IZ

FROM: METREON (THE VOICE OF GOD FOR YOU NEW RECRUITS)

MUSE IZ, WE ARE NOT PLEASED! YOU CALL YOURSELF A MUSE? WE ARE LOOKING DOWN AND WE SEE THAT YOUR POOR ARTIST IS STARING BLANKLY AT HER SCREEN …(gasp) DROOLING NO LESS. THIS IS “HOLY” UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR ON YOUR PART. FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, HUMAN, PLEASE REFER TO YOUR STANDARD ISSUED MANUAL “BEING A MUSE, EVEN A MERE MORTAL CAN DO IT!”… (SEE PG 48, “KEEPING THEM ON TRACK AND HYDRATED: CORRELATION OR CAUSE AND EFFECT”?) WE EXPECT YOU TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION IMMEDIATELY

IZ’s response: uh – ok – “GOD” needs a new e-mail address

This just in: Woman in San Anselmo found drooling at her computer babbling incoherently. She doesn’t seem to be a danger to her surroundings (other than the fact that the world seems to suffer a rapid rate of entropy wherever she goes…) however, she also doesn’t seem to be able to WRITE. While authorities haven’t named a suspect, they are holding her overachieving husband for questioning. It appears the man may have forgotten to give his wife her medication.

IZ’s response: How is this different than normal? LOL

Funny boy.