Yesterday, I had the most delightful conversation with my favorite five year old on the planet. Five is such a special age; but this little boy takes my breath away. When he was three, he drew me a picture chock full of golden yellow scribbles. I asked him what he called his picture and he said, “Luck. It’s for you.” It hangs on my refrigerator to this day.

~~~

M: So do you want me to tell you something?

Me: Sure!

M: I love birds.

Me: Really? (You can see what a witty conversationalist I am here!)

M: Yes. I love wild birds and pet birds. . .

Me: So, you love all birds, then.

M: Well, no. Not the dead ones. The dead ones make me sad.

~~~

Me: So what is your favorite bird, M?

M: Oh, I don’t think I have a favorite.

Me: I’m very fond of Ravens, myself. And I like Hummingbirds, too.

M: I just don’t see how they survive on only sugar water. It can’t be very good for them.

~~~

M: You want me to tell you something?

Me: Sure!

M: I had a bad dream. I don’t know if it was a nightmare because I’ve never had nightmare in my entire life.

Me: What’s the difference between a nightmare and a bad dream?

M: Well, my bad dream had Harry Potter and Hermione in it. But none of the teachers. And Ron was not there either. Just Harry and Hermione.

~~~
It’s good to be five. It’s even better to be asked, “So, do you want me to tell you something?”

Family Portrait

Boy Wonder: I wonder what Jesus would think of all the technology we have today.

Me: Oh, Jesus would have a blog!

IZ: (rolls his eyes)

Boy Wonder: “Ack! Listen to that girl screeching on the radio. That’s terrible! She’s not going to have much of a career singing like that!”

Me: “Well, this is one of her first hits. She’s gone on to be a huge music star.”

Boy Wonder: “REALLY? You’re kidding, right? Because that’s not singing.”

Me: “Seriously! I think she’s had a few singing lessons since then.”

Boy Wonder: “Who is she?”

Me: “Ever heard of Madonna?”

Boy Wonder: “Whose shoes are those?”

IZ: “Those belong to your mother.”

Boy Wonder: “Whew! For a moment there, you had me worried.”

I’m not sure which is worse: that I’ve been ruled unfashionable by the 10 year old, or that his feet are large enough he can confuse my shoes for his.

. . . I’m going to blog about you.

Boy Wonder gave his father a card yesterday that read: Happy Father’s Day to the dad who wrote the book on fatherhood. . . from the kid who inspired the chapter, “Just When You Think You Have It All Figured Out. . .” Inside he inscribed the card:

Dear Dad,

Thank you for being such a good father this year. It amazes me that you can clean, cook, play, and take on the evil wrath of mom all at the same time.

Love, Boy Wonder

PS. The wrath thing was a joke.

Sure it was kid, sure it was!

Another reason I like my birthday week: I get to be right a role-model:

Boy Wonder: Yeah, so you notice what she did?

IZ: What?

Boy Wonder: Well, she let you test for yourself; she didn’t assume when you did, that you didn’t believe her.

IZ: What’s your point?

Boy Wonder: You should do as THE MOM does! That’s my point. In fact, you should just start asking yourself before you get mad at me, “What would Mom do?”

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I should probably note that my kid is smart enough to have this conversation while his father was driving. And trust me, the kid is rarely on my side of ANYTHING. What can I say? My birthday week rocks!

Boy Wonder (storming through the door after walking Sophie): “MOM! This darn dog!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Boy Wonder: “WELL! She’s just refusant! She’s belligerously refusing to go through the door!”

IZ (looking at me): Good job there, English Teacher.

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Joke’s on him, though—because I also teach creative writing. I have two words for you, Snarky Boy: HARRY POTTER. *snap snap*. (also two words.)

Wisdom from the Backseat

“Even though I’m really smart, I still have lots to learn.”

“Sometimes, I’m an expert backseat driver!”

“Dear God, thank you for lending the stars to watch over us.”

~~It’s nice to be six and still believe that the stars follow you in your car to watch over you at night. Even cooler that he knows who to thank for that miracle.

Good News:

IZ: the problem is you are experiencing a period of self-doubt…
ME: “Period”? That would be my LIFE.
IZ: Ok, an extended period of self-doubt… it will pass.

Ok… because I’m too tired to be creative, I am stealing a recent post from In Passing. If you don’t read this site regularly– What’s wrong with you?

So, here you go:

“L-o-u-i-s-i-a-n-a.”
“Where’s the ‘w’ in it, then?”
“I’m thinking you should re-think applying.”
–A woman and a man, apparently filling out a form of some sort, in line at Peet’s coffee.