“She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don’t say that she will, but she can.”
— Dorothy Parker

Sophie is smart. Really smart. Her previous owners mentioned that. We took them at their word and it seemed like a good sign. We like smart people–we will like a smart dog! If you tell Sophie to “Go to Bed” off she trots to Boy Wonder’s room and snuggles into her blanket–tail thumping to the beat of her own drum. Happiness is her tune. She just sings! She sits when told, walks beautifully on a leash, comes when called (for the most part) doesn’t take a treat from your hand until you give the “take” command. Yep–she’s a tribute to her breed. Well mannered and lovely, even tempered, rarely growls, is a contributing member of society.

Or she would be if she’d only pee.

Did I mention that Sophie is smart? But, in addition to be really smart–Sophie is equally stubborn. This little trait her former owners neglected to mention. And because lying by omission wasn’t enough, they thew in the blatant untruth that Sophie was potty trained*. I’m here to tell you–what Sophie is, is stubborn. There is a difference. Not peeing inside for 36 hours is not the same as not peeing for 36 hours AT ALL. Sophie, who does not like the rain or grass or anything nature based when it comes to eliminating chooses to not go if it means meeting that nature. Instead, she is choosing to HOLD IT. And hold it. And hold it.

Now, every training manual regarding these issues suggests that I take my dog outside at regular intervals to commune with nature–when I see her doing it right, to praise her as if she is divine. However, sage advice it may be, it assumes my dog will ever GO outside. And Sophie? She’s too smart for that. She figures she can out-wait me. Every twenty minutes for the past 36 hours she has stood in the rain and not peed. Not a drop. The heavens have opened up and dumped down precipitation in buckets and still this dog will not take the hint.

Because Sophie understands that Free Will only applies to her–that ultimately, I have no sovereignty over her bladder. Of course, that little fact doesn’t stop my assailing the Universe every twenty minutes as I stand in the rain, “Please God, make this dog Pee.”

*If this was all they lied about, it could be forgiven–however, the list goes on and on. I can tolerate slackers, ingrates, and generally boorishly behaved individuals—however, liars really push me over the edge.

In case you were wondering what it looks like:

Exhibit A

We are all a little jet lagged and sleep deprived. Updates soon–I promise.

I didn’t mean for it to happen. Ok, well, I did a little. However, despite my intentions there seems to be some form of Kismet in play. Sometimes the Universe steps in an unites souls that were destined for each other. And when it does, who should question such serendipity?

I never thought I’d fall in love so quickly, especially without ever having met…but you know, the Internet is weird like that. And you can just tell. Can’t you? When a good soul is staring back at you, no matter the distance?

And can’t you just tell when it was meant to be? Then, when you think it might not happen, the Universe steps in again and paves a road so silken you can’t help but remove your shoes and run barefoot–soaking up all the glorious details into your soles.

If I’d hadn’t emailed when I did. But I did.

If I hadn’t looked when I did. Yet I did.

Stolen. My heart is. Not my own, but was it ever?

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