Mom Jeans?! Seriously?! *groan*
Now You’ve Gone and Done It
It was bound to happen eventually. But MUST all mom jeans look so, what’s the word, hideous? I get that once you reach a certain age weight begins to accumulate around your middle, unless you’re Heidi Klum. (I hate you Heidi Klum. No, really, I love you. But honestly girl, this “let me pop out babies and look 22” stuff is so last season!) And that means finding jeans to accommodate your new girth. But seriously, friends, this aging bit is on my last nerve.
And an aside, because I know some of you are not of that certain age and you’re saying in your head, “Oh, that’s never going to happen to me. I will never wear mom jeans.” Bad news, you probably will. I have proof. Go stand in front of a mirror. Who do you see standing there? Heidi Klum?
Anyhow, MY moment has come. I’ve lost some weight. Actually, quite a bit. I’ve not bought jeans in years and one pair of jeans does not a wardrobe make! I had a second pair, and um, blew out the thighs of those ridiculously thin and poorly made denim. My jeans are bagging off me so much I don’t even bother to unzip to pee. Not to mention the serious case of “granddad butt” going on. So, it was time. I just had no idea I’d be walking out of the store with a pair of mid-waisted dark wash mom jeans.
I tried for chic, I honestly did. I can’t explain why  every pair of  not mom jeans I tried on looked ridiculous. I kept looking at myself and thinking, “You’re not fooling anyone.” Besides, do I really need sparkly hearts and roses to decorate my mom ass? I don’t think so.
So, reluctantly (as in after 3 separate and loaded trips to the dressing room) I crossed the aisle to the adult jeans department. Elastic waists? GOD kill me know. Hidden “comfort” bands? Is there no shame? And then I saw them. A pair of mom jeans that promised  to “secretly slim” me.
I’m not sure if they’re actually slimming me. Upon closer inspection the tag doesn’t promise to make me look younger, in fact it reads, “sits higher on the waist.” If that’s not code for “mom jean” what is? It’s official. I’m a woman of a certain age.
And I’m pretty sure it’s no longer a secret.
I didn’t even notice the mom jeans. All I thought was, how great, (and thin,) you looked.
You’re so sweet… thank you. These are so high waisted. I laugh every time I think about it. But really, no one wants to see my muffin top. 😀
You look mahhhhhhhh-velous! They don’t look like mom jeans from here!
Thank you. I should have taken the photo with my sweater off and my top up so y’all could see how ridiculously high waisted these jeans are. I think the trick is going to be layers. Lots of layers.
I think you rock those jeans. They don’t say “mom” anywhere on them!
You look fantastic. You are the only one who thinks(or knows) that they are mom jeans. 🙂
They are not mom jeans. And the trick with any jean is to wear a longer top – like you are. Don’t make me “sheesh” you! 😀
Plus, you’re looking mighty slim. Slimmity Slim from Slimmania…