A gift from my son. Which just proves my point, I don’t think this kid is listening to me.
Whew! We survived yesterday. On a humorous note, I have to tell you: if this blog’s stats are any indication, there’s a whole lot of angst over this holiday! Last week’s stats was lit up with google searches for “honest Mother’s Day Cards.” If you’re an enterprising sort, there is clearly a market for “telling mom like it is” on Mother’s Day! I’m not advocating it, as much as observing. You could probably follow up with “Honest Father’s Day” cards and cards for “Ungrateful children who don’t send Mother’s Day Cards.” Seriously, folks, that’s what been bringing traffic to my blog all week.
That’s what I get for writing a post about not being a fan of Mother’s Day. IZ got my full fledged sermon on our walk yesterday—everything I’d say to all those people out there about the holiday, about what real mothering looks like and how it is imperative for those of us who “celebrate” to “mother” those who can’t. Lucky for you, he’s a built in congregation  of one and sermonizing is now out of my system. But it was a good sermon, complete with emphatic hand gesturing! I’ll just sum it up with what I told facebook, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn. It’s really not that difficult!”
Or, it shouldn’t be. I saw a lot of evidence to the contrary, last week. People, so called loving mothers, eager Christians, behaving in ways that were neither. There is something about this holiday that brings out very raw emotions—no matter what side of the issue. Ultimately, when I get past my ire and angst, I just feel sad. Sad for those who are mourning. Sad for those who cannot do the very basic act of the mothering that they insist on celebrating!
Sigh.
I should know better.
Anyhow, I don’t celebrate, but apparently my kid didn’t get the memo. He bought me a blank card, telling his father that he didn’t want one of those “sappy” cards. (GOOD BOY!) And he bought a replacement orchid for the one I accidentally offed with too much love last year. His father got around the edict by having a “non-mother’s day dinner” the night before. I love them.
And here’s the thing, the very bottom of my philosophy (for lack of a better word) on the matter: NO GUILT. I was touched and honored and completely charmed by their efforts. But I don’t have expectations. Our son remembered on his own (HUGE!!) and insisted on doing something with his own money. I’m not going to say “no” to that. I’m going to rejoice in the fact that my kid is kinda really great. But I’m also not going to get all weepy and demanding when, eventually, some other woman is the center of his universe.
Can I get an Amen?
AMEN. I love the point about “honest” cards being followed by “ungrateful” cards. I do think there is an industry to be had here. Too bad I’m underfunded and a little too busy to take it on myself. 😉 We could call them Honest Cards. The motto could be, “No fluffy fake sentiment here…”
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Oh no you don’t mister. You have ENOUGH to do, tyvm. 😀 ~W
So beautifully put, Wende. Though my experience has been different, you have brought such an eloquent perspective that you made me think. And that’s not always easy to do.
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Ah… you’re such a thinker! And such a great Mom, too. Mucho love, chica! ~W
Yes, AMEN. I was a little weepy but not because it was Mother’s Day–more because I miss my girls and the fun times we had when they were around. So-called holidays remind me of their absence. I could have had Alison home, but the weather was atrocious, so I told her that her Mother’s Day gift to me would be to go back to Bellingham and stay off the roads. (you know the child and her propensity for accidents!) The orchid is lovely!!
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What is with this weather?! I’m sorry, but this is NOT the May I know and love. Good call on travel thing–even IF Alison was a stellar driver! ~W
I personally feel a good mother wouldn’t demand anything on Mother’s Day. Wouldn’t that be sort of ironic – in a way? I don’t demand gifts. What satisfaction would there be in that? I hope you enjoyed your day. You’re a sweet family.
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Thank you, Kimberly! I so appreciate your words and your spirit! ~W
How about ‘Honest and Loving but not Sappy’cards?
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Do it! I’d love to see what you come up with! 😀 ~W
AMEN! I’m with Gwendolyn. I’m coming to appreciate my mom more as I get older (and it’s only taken me until I’m almost 40!), but I still shudder at the sappy cards… so she generally doesn’t get a card from me. I talk to her on Mother’s Day and tell her I love her, and that’s as sappy as it gets. She’s never demanded anything from me… but then, her other children generally make a big deal out of it.
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It sounds like you’ve got a solution that works! ~W
Amen! I hate mother’s day more than valentine’s day…sappy sentiment that would be more real if it was shared the other 364 days of the year. This year mother’s day reminded me more of my failures as a mom than the joys that should have come my way. Next year, I’m just not even going to get out bed on that second sunday in may.
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Oh! Karan, I just found this in my spam filter. I have NO idea how it got there. :S I’m so sorry that things are rough right now in the mothering arena. ~W