On this last day of January, “The Monday of the Year*”, I’m sitting with all the potential change in my life. And I find it easily overwhelming when I start paying attention to the perpetual loop eight-tracks in my mind whispering fear.
We all get that change is difficult. It’s part of the human condition, we hang on to things. Perhaps longer than we should. Perhaps longer than I should. I stash away paraphernalia from my past, bits and pieces of potential.Â Piles of fabric in my studio that will be something, eventually.Â The first line of several novels. Th first paragraph of hundreds of posts. Projects I always mean to finish, but never really begin. Relationships that will get better, if given just one more chance. Associations out of obligation, participation out of nostalgia, connections to a former self best left in the past. The boxes of my life are filled with debris; marked “fragile” as if writing out those letters imports some meaning. I’ve not been ready to let go of any of it, even the harmful bits.Â That’s what the voices on the eight-track whisper, “You are not ready.”
Although, I know better.Â Beneath the din, in what quiet I can muster, there is a self that knows better. I am ready.
I am letting go of small things first. Clearing space, making room, determining what of the debris really is worth hanging on to forever. It’s surprising how much you just don’t need. And I’ll let you in on a little secret, letting go. . .Yeah,Â it’s not as scary as you might think. In fact, it can be downright liberating if you let go of the right things.Â The voices in our heads that peddle fear and shame need not be the loudest! They are obsolete liars that only have power if we believe them. It’s not an issue of drowning out the noise. It’s an issue of letting go. And if you can take a little advice from the girl who keeps everything, start by tossing outÂ that perpetual taped loop in your head that tells you change is “Scary”.
*January is the Monday of the Year was borrowed from the lovely Bethany! Go read! Be inspired.