I suspect tomorrow cannot come too soon for you, little brother. It is an express bullet train at rush hour for me. Blurry. I feel blurry. 

There are so many words I should have for you. Wisdom from  an elder sister and all that. But I find, the girl with too may words, that words have quit me in this moment. All I have is what I feel for you. Which, is immensely painful and special and turbulent and fierce. It is FIERCE LOVE. Fierce love does not like to be limited by definition.

And so I give you what I have:  my deepest admiration for the human being you have become. And for the becoming that has cost you. Your arrival at tomorrow was not by accident—but it wasn’t all by your choice either. Sometimes, what defines us as human beings is not what happens to us. But what we do with what happens to us.

You do not realize it now–how could you? You are blurry too, more than ready for tomorrow. Eyes focused on the light that is coming. But I know this.  You will speed through the day and tomorrow will remain for eternity as the marker of the beginning of your new life together with Marie. You will be you and you will be completely reborn. And you don’t even know it.

But I know, I know that the man you will be at your 25th wedding anniversary, the man you will be in 50 years, the man you will be tomorrow— that man arrived today. He arrived in the way he looks at the woman he will hold for an eternity. He arrived in every step he took to get to this moment. He arrived when he made this choice and he arrived when she said, “Yes!”

Tomorrow is coming and while I may not be ready for it, I know deep in my soul that you are.

I love you, Mark. With a fierce and undying love. 

This entry was posted on Friday, May 16th, 2008 at 9:04 pm and is filed under This Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.