For the last week, IZ and I have been having the same conversation via IM:
Me: I should blog.
Me: I have nothing to say.
Me: I should really blog.
Me: whine whine whine, I should really blog.
IZ: Why don’t you go blog, sweetie?
That’s a very good question. Why not, indeed? Truth is, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Two weeks ago the tendons in my neck seized up and I lost most of my range of motion. A week later, when the muscle started to spasm, I went in to see my massage therapist. Even she couldn’t get the block to release. It’s complicated and more than I want to blog about—but I went and compounded the situation by falling 4 days ago. Yep. One moment I’m standing on the staircase landing in my cute shoes and summery skirt. The next, I’m in a fetal position on the entryway floor. There was enough time between those two moments for me to utter several expletives. I saw black, I felt the floor give way and after that, I don’t really know how it happened.
I’m pretty sure I landed in such a way that IZ ,standing on the landing I’d just left, could see my underwear. He knows better than to touch me when I’m in pain. He just hovers on the edges gently inquiring about my viability. “Are you still breathing? Do you have a pulse? Should I call an ambulance?” Yes, yes, *sniffle* NO! The dog is less intuitive. Sophie kept sniffing my head like I might be fresh kill. Me, I’m just crying on the floor because I hate the sensation of falling even more than the pain. I’ve always been a faller, and IZ is convinced I fall more than I should. I think I’m just not graceful. Even after all these years, I’m still landing in odd positions with my skirt turned up exposing my knickers for all who care to see. In this case, it was just the dog.
The fall did unblock my neck. Weirdly, I can now turn my head again. But all these minor injuries have made me tired and unfocused. It’s amazing how much concentration it takes to NOT do something you’re used to doing without thought. I’ve found myself unmotivated. And as such, the only writing I’ve been doing is whining in IM at poor IZ.
But tonight he said something different. And I had one of those fashionably late light-bulb moments.
Me: I should blog.
Me: I have nothing to say.
Me: Why FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE don’t I have something to say?
IZ: Maybe you should take a short Vacay?
I love it when the boy talks valley to me. So I’m going to do as he suggests. Yep, you thought there was no quitting you, but. . . there is. I will be back on the 7th. Of July. Next month. TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Oh, my.
This should be killing me; I’m exactly 5 posts from 1000. But it’s not. Of course, this blog would have hit that number two months ago if I hadn’t deleted 50 posts in the archives. Let’s not dwell on that. And we would have hit that number last November if I could import 2003’s posts that are trapped in some platform IZ talked me into when I said, “But I want to use something groovy, like WordPress.” We really won’t dwell on that.
After 6 years of blogging, you’d think that number would be higher. I’ve always been an underachiever. Looking at my commenting stats, I’m not alone. This little blog, which sits at nearly 1000 posts and oodles of comments, has attracted a ridiculous number spam. In fact, the spam bots have been out posting your comments 1000 to 1. You all should be embarrassed to be outdone by mere technology.
However, there is a way to redeem yourselves: post a comment and guess how many spam comments this blog will have received by July 7th when I return. The person who comes closest will be getting a nice little prize from me. But I’m not saying what just yet. You’re going to have to play along to find out.
Do me proud, people. Seriously. And IZ, you don’t get to play and NO HINTING at numbers. Don’t even think about telling them the number is well over 10,000. uh… erm… Anyhow. . .
I’ll be back on the 7th. Don’t you dare lurk on this one. I have stats, people—I can see YOU! It would be very unpatriotic to let the spam bot win. So for freedom’s sake, post your best guess.
See you next month.
UPDATE: I’m scratching my head about the lack of numerical content in the comment section. So, just to be sure it wasn’t me, I ran my blog through a “What reading level is your blog?” utility and it said “First Grade.” Hmm… funny. Depressing, but funny.
So, Question: What part of “leave a guess” wasn’t clear? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. People who refuse to play along… uh… well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it will be something. So. . . uh. . . there!!
You certainly did Homer proud: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/6890/homerfalldownstairs.jpg — I only heard the thuds, the Doh’s!, and the unprintable. I didn’t know what I would expect to find when I got to you… I’m just glad you can still walk!
As for your “vaca” — you deserve it!
And no, I won’t be guessing the number… I can neither confirm nor deny that it is well over 10,000… 😉
Well, since you know I’m here – and since I’m not much of a writer or a blogger, I’ll just leave my guess – my number guess of 3,033,000.
What is a spam bot anyway? I don’t think I’ve see one.
Looky here, I don’t care about your spam comments A BIT, but honey, watch yourself in those cute shoes WE DON’T NEED A BROKEN-NECKED BLOGGER!
Glad you’re okay. Enjoy your break.
I”ll miss you 🙂
Enjoy your break.
I hope your break involves a bubble bath 🙂
And my guess is:
52,4253
From one “faller ” to another, enjoy your blogging hiatus. As a faller, I don not use the word break. Too dangerous.
Have a good + relaxing break. I hope it re-energizes you 🙂
Please be careful! I would hate to hear you really hurt yourself.
I have no idea about the spam… but I’ll guess 44,728. {how random!}
Feel better. Vacay away! My guess is 26,482.
17,042.
Guilt-free non-blogging time–hey, I experience that on a daily basis! Now go on, and don’t give us another thought for the next few weeks.
And as Sgt. Esterhaus use to say on Hill Street Blues, “Let’s be careful out there.”
Good-ness! I am sorry about the fall, and sorry about the seize in the neck as well…although, it doesn’t sound like too much of a problem right at the moment. OK…enjoy your break and I will guess 19,804 as my number…
Have a good break. I guess 18,295.
Enjoy your time away. My guess is 18,000, one for each year you have been married. Oh and by the way, Happy Anniversary!
“I could hide out under there.
I just made you say ‘underwear’ ”
Heh.
127,409
Have fun!
42,083
8,987,998.676
I have three little words for your neck trouble…
acu punc ture
Feel better and enjoy your sabatical.
I’m going to go with 102,125.
I laughed so hard at your description of the falling that I feel really bad. I really shouldn’t have laughed that hard. Sorry 🙂
Get lots of well-deserved rest!
“But I don’t like Spam!”
I have a 4 letter word for your neck pain: YOGA.
I am absolutely loving Elbow. I enjoy their use of strings and find the lead singer’s voice quite wonderful.
Enjoy your hiatus.
Why do you hate us?!
Doh!
10,011
Even tho you’re on vacation are you available for Etsy consultation? I have an Etsy store. 🙂
I love it when Bonnie says doh. Why are you falling down the stairs? I know. You made the tragic mistake of wearing shoes. How many times before you learn? Mary’s right- you’re relatively worthless to us with a closed head injury. Be careful.
When I fell down my stairs (face first), I had an amazing set of thoughts, not seriatim, but about trying to minimize the damage to my body – all the result of a brilliant self-defense class I took which taught me about thinking in moments of panic. Results: fractured nose and wrist, and a new sense of my ability to take care of myself. Of course, no knickers were involved, which makes it all different.
I guess 89,000.
I took about a week vacay too and it was swell. But we need to synchronize our blog breaks better–wah! Hope you’re feeling OK and not too bruised up. When you move to a sunnier clime, may I suggest this word…rambler. I know nothing about spam bots, but I love to guess so…50.000? We just got back from WI, so I’m off to do laundry, then more laundry. alison did amazing. I’m sad that this was the end, even though it’s time to move on. *sniff* See you next week! Hugs.
Enjoy your time away. And if you decide to take up Twitter on your hiatus, I’ll just say a) that’s sort of cheating, and b) let me know so I can follow you.
Let’s say 8,500.
Ducking a kick and coming by for wodka. It’s coming, it’s coming. Works in progress…