For the last week, IZ and I have been having the same conversation via IM:

Me: I should blog.

Me: I have nothing to say.

Me: I should really blog.

Me: whine whine whine, I should really blog.

IZ: Why don’t you go blog, sweetie?

That’s a very good question. Why not, indeed? Truth is, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Two weeks ago the tendons in my neck seized up and I lost most of my range of motion. A week later, when the muscle started to spasm, I went in to see my massage therapist. Even she couldn’t get the block to release. It’s complicated and more than I want to blog about—but I went and compounded the situation by falling 4 days ago. Yep. One moment I’m standing on the staircase landing in my cute shoes and summery skirt. The next, I’m in a fetal position on the entryway floor. There was enough time between those two moments for me to utter several expletives. I saw black, I felt the floor give way and after that, I don’t really know how it happened.

I’m pretty sure I landed in such a way that IZ ,standing on the landing I’d just left, could see my underwear. He knows better than to touch me when I’m in pain. He just hovers on the edges gently inquiring about my viability. “Are you still breathing? Do you have a pulse? Should I call an ambulance?” Yes, yes, *sniffle* NO! The dog is less intuitive. Sophie kept sniffing my head like I might be fresh kill. Me, I’m just crying on the floor because I hate the sensation of falling even more than the pain. I’ve always been a faller, and IZ is convinced I fall more than I should. I think I’m just not graceful. Even after all these years, I’m still landing in odd positions with my skirt turned up exposing my knickers for all who care to see. In this case, it was just the dog.

The fall did unblock my neck. Weirdly, I can now turn my head again. But all these minor injuries have made me tired and unfocused. It’s amazing how much concentration it takes to NOT do something you’re used to doing without thought. I’ve found myself unmotivated. And as such, the only writing I’ve been doing is whining in IM at poor IZ.

But tonight he said something different. And I had one of those fashionably late light-bulb moments.

Me: I should blog.

Me: I have nothing to say.

Me: Why FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE don’t I have something to say?

IZ: Maybe you should take a short Vacay?

I love it when the boy talks valley to me. So I’m going to do as he suggests. Yep, you thought there was no quitting you, but. . . there is. I will be back on the 7th. Of July. Next month. TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Oh, my.

This should be killing me; I’m exactly 5 posts from 1000. But it’s not. Of course, this blog would have hit that number two months ago if I hadn’t deleted 50 posts in the archives. Let’s not dwell on that. And we would have hit that number last November if I could import 2003’s posts that are trapped in some platform IZ talked me into when I said, “But I want to use something groovy, like WordPress.” We really won’t dwell on that.

After 6 years of blogging, you’d think that number would be higher. I’ve always been an underachiever. Looking at my commenting stats, I’m not alone. This little blog, which sits at nearly 1000 posts and oodles of comments, has attracted a ridiculous number spam. In fact, the spam bots have been out posting your comments 1000 to 1. You all should be embarrassed to be outdone by mere technology.

However, there is a way to redeem yourselves: post a comment and guess how many spam comments this blog will have received by July 7th when I return. The person who comes closest will be getting a nice little prize from me. But I’m not saying what just yet. You’re going to have to play along to find out.

Do me proud, people. Seriously. And IZ, you don’t get to play and NO HINTING at numbers. Don’t even think about telling them the number is well over 10,000. uh… erm… Anyhow. . .

I’ll be back on the 7th. Don’t you dare lurk on this one. I have stats, people—I can see YOU! It would be very unpatriotic to let the spam bot win. So for freedom’s sake, post your best guess.

See you next month.

UPDATE: I’m scratching my head about the lack of numerical content in the comment section. So, just to be sure it wasn’t me, I ran my blog through a “What reading level is your blog?” utility and it said “First Grade.”  Hmm… funny. Depressing, but funny.

So, Question: What part of “leave a guess” wasn’t clear? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. People who refuse to play along… uh… well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it will be something. So. . . uh. . . there!!