December’s Child
Life does not always go as planned. In fact, I suspect it rarely goes as planned. I don’t think we have much of a choice but to plan, but it’s probably in our best interests to not expect anything to go as predicted.
Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t know, I’ve always done things a bit, uh, backwards. Out of order, not according to plan. Rebellious just because I can be. So, it should not have surprised me when our child arrived in this world 5 weeks early. Three days before Christmas. Exactly what I had planned not to happen.
It did, though, surprise me. He was a much longed for and planned baby—a feat I wasn’t sure I’d ever accomplish. Prayers from many people, of many faiths accompanied me on the journey. If I was going to accomplish having a baby then I had definite opinions about when I’d like that child born. Looking back, I laugh at my insistence that I could do anything “normally”. It wasn’t in my DNA, it certainly wasn’t in my child’s either. Despite knowing this, we made a conscious choice: no babies in December. Our preference meant we “didn’t” do things to make sure that was the case. I knew going in that I was in for an adventure. I just forgot to factor in premature babies. Otherwise, we would have extended all that not doing by a few months.
I don’t know. . . Santa and Jesus are hard company to keep. Especially when you’re a kid. Yet, I’ve met my fair share of adults who struggle with having December birthdays. A lifetime of being overlooked has a way of making December babies wary. They are torn, I think, between wanting their day to be special and all the programming we receive that tells us we shouldn’t be “selfish.” Not wanting to put people out, not wanting to make demands in an already hectic season, I watch December babies shrink to the background, while the rest of us fortunate enough to be born in some other month celebrate birthday weeks or birthday months.
Now, 11 years later, I marvel at my hubris. I marvel even more that it still bothers me he was born in December. I wasn’t ready to have a baby 5 weeks early. Not then. Not now, really. My frustration, in light of his miraculous birth seems trivial. It is tempered by my awe. I remain flabbergasted by the feat of motherhood. . . and I suspect most of you feel that way, no matter how your children arrived in this world.
My child arrived early. A miracle baby. He will turn 11 in a week. As is our tradition, we decorate our tree as a birthday tree first, waiting until after his birthday to decorate for Christmas. It seems a small act to honor life’s unexpected glories, a small tribute to say, “You are special.”
So, for my darling child, who will read this when you are older. . . please know: You are special. My December baby, you were wanted and loved, even if you were planned for January. The very best thing, right next to your father, that has ever happened to me.
And it does not escape me, that your first act of rebellion was committed before you took your first breath.
December 14th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
A great big happy birthday to him! (A very lovely tree there)
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Thank you!
~W
December 14th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
A lovely tree indeed - was great fun to help out. Happy Birthday Boo - I love you!
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Oh, thanks so much for your help. Those little boxes are tedious, it was great to have company!
~W
December 14th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Happy Birthday to both of you!
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Thank you!! I kinda think parents deserve celebrations just for surviving.
~W
December 14th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
It’s a beautiful birthday tree and a lovely story. I have always wondered how hard it would be to have a birthday in December. Mine is in August, and it was the opposite problem. People are on vacation. No school birthday hoopla. I guess we just have to accept and rejoice in when we were born!
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Yeah, we face that too–with his birthday being 3 days before Christmas, we typically do things weeks in advance. ~W
December 15th, 2007 at 6:42 am
The birthday tree! I think I remember it from last year. That’s a lovely tradition. Many happy returns to the BW.
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Yeah, every year. I wonder what will happen when he’s an adult…
~W
December 15th, 2007 at 8:54 am
I love the idea of the birthday tree. I think it’s wonderful that you make such an effort to keep his day special and not let it get blended in with Christmas.
Miracles are all around us, everywhere we look. We have to make the effort to see them, though. The creative ways you find to celebrate the miracles in your life always make me smile. See?
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I do see… and thank you!
I appreciate the support. It probably seems insignificant… but I didn’t want a December baby in ANY WAY. Conceiving was hard to do–and when that month rolled around, I opted to fore-go the chance of a pregnancy just to make sure we didn’t have a December birth. Of course, I got pregnant the very next month and IZ spent my pregnancy saying to my belly, “Come on kid, be daddy’s little tax deduction.” Oh. My. He was hoping for late December, not 5 weeks early. I was so steamed about having a baby in December, that when it was time to induce (I was failing) my doctor refused to tell me and said to IZ, “She’s having this baby this weekend, and you get to tell her.” Heh. Everybody knew I didn’t want a December baby–that when my water broke, I cried and the nurses apologized to me for being in labor!
In retrospect, I suppose that seems insane. But I was adamant. And the Universe likes to laugh at me.
~W
December 15th, 2007 at 9:44 am
What a lucky guy… The birthday tree is awesome. I love the idea of this tradition! My two nieces also have Christmas birthdays so they’re celebrating next week too.
Happy birthday wishes to BW!!
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It came out so pretty this year. I’m tempted to take the 11’s off, add a few white bulbs after his birthday, and call it done.
~W
December 15th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Happy Birthday to Boy Wonder!
And you, m’dear, are a wonderful wonderful friend. They fit perfectly and you have made my week. Thank you so much!
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Oh! It got there early. I’m so glad. You know, sometimes we just need love in the mail. I’m glad they fit.
~W
December 15th, 2007 at 11:23 am
From one December birthday to another (the 28th), Happy Happy Day BW!
The tree is a fantastic idea. My parents were always good about wrapping my birthday presents in BIRTHDAY paper and they got to stay under the tree until the 28th. You do what you do and it works.
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Yeah, I’ve been known to unwrap gifts and rewrap them in birthday paper.
~W
December 15th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Happy Birthday to a sweet and wonderful December baby! Or rather…boy now…
My sister’s birthday is December 25th…yup, Christmas day. I believe my mother let her have slumber parties in the summer to celebrate with friends since she never had the chance to have friends over on her actual birthday (family holidays being what they are you know) and we always did Christmas in the morning, and then a Large birthday celebration after lunch…It was always fun, and always separate (and we reminded people that no one gift for both would do…it wasn’t fair…)
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OH! That’s such a hard day. And I like your mom’s solution.
And I know, boy not baby. Does that make me OLD?? ~W
December 17th, 2007 at 10:19 am
that tree is TOO cool!!
:D 
happy birthday!!
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Thank you!!
~W
December 18th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
What great parents to tribute such a beautiful tree! I can SO relate.. telling anyone who will listen - my birthday is coming… did you know my birthday is coming?
(December 23rd) Happy Birthday to him!
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Oh! Happy Birthday!!!
~W
January 17th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I’m quite pathetic for falling off the face of the blog earth once the handmade holidays rolled around, and then for weeks after as I scrambled to pick up the pieces of everything I’d dropped for it. So…
I find myself here at this month-old post now. And I love it. What a sweet tribute to your son, and what an awesome tradition you have of decorating the tree first in his honor. I guess you knew from day one that he’d be a challenge… in the best sense of the word. A much belated happy birthday to boy wonder!
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Yeah, he’s a great kind of challenge. Keeps me young and hopping.
Thanks!! 
~W