My mother is an extraordinarily extroverted person who could not understand how her child wasn’t a chip off the old maple. I was little miss chatty at home, so why couldn’t I be that way out in the world? Why did I prefer to hang back behind her skirts? Matters got ever more complicated when my younger brother came along two years later. He was a fledgling maple, and that was that! Clearly, I had a defect that needed addressing, so my mother set out to reform me. She made sure that I was exposed to multiple social situations, much to my dismay, and pushed social graces.
At the time, I abhorred the whole ordeal. Beyond feeling like there was something broken in me, I was completely flabbergasted at the very idea of being compelled to be social. Why go to youth group when you have a perfectly good book to read? Sadly, I never learned to like it, but I did learn to fake it. Very well. So much so, when most people meet me they have little idea of how terribly introverted and private I am.
But meeting people out in the world is a very different story than inviting them into my home. The thing is, I love to play hostess—so, I tend to offer invitations with ease only to find myself after the fact, wondering whatever got into me! I stress if the house is clean enough (not possible!). I stress over all the projects unfinished in this house (Why can’t I get a contractor in Astoria to return my call??). I stress over what I’m going to serve and will it be enough (in this heat?? Not much. Iced Mochas anyone?). I stress over what I’ll say (probably too much because I babble when I’m nervous). We won’t even discuss my vanity issues: what to wear, what to wear, Oh My!
Eventually, I run out of time to stress and my guests arrive. Whatever preparations I’ve made will have to be enough—I will have to be enough. Take a deep breath and be welcoming. That part was a lesson well learned. Point to all the beautiful flowers—perhaps they won’t notice I have a huge case of the nerves.
UPDATE:
Well, it seems my nerves were for naught! My house guests decided that they didn’t have time to drop by today, after all, and I found myself with a very clean house and pitcher of iced mochas on hand. What to do with a pitcher of iced mochas?? Never fear, their tour guide and my adorable friend Kathleen was more than willing to help me out with my quandary. We sat out on my tangy porch and took in that stunning view!
Part of me is disappointed if only because it’s been a terribly hot day and cleaning wasn’t exactly how I’d intended to spend the day. But part of me is elated; Kathleen is very easy to talk to and I enjoy her company. We certainly made sure the Iced Mochas didn’t go to waste while she told me all about her new card line with Papaya. I can honestly say that at least I don’t have a case of the nerves in her company.
…unless you write about them on your blog… seriously though – you don’t have anything to be ashamed of! And being a social butterfly is overrated… butterflies don’t live that long…
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Well, I don’t think my blog is that well read. Ahem. And it was pointless anxiety anyhow, it seems. Thanks for taking time off work to make it happen, though. I appreciate it!! Those mochas were YUMMY!!~W
Your blog did not like my last comment. I wanted to say that I am like you although everyone thinks I am ultra social, there are times that I don’t want to be around anyone. I just want to READ. My parents always thought I was totally perfect though, in spite of my quirky perfectionism.
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My blog is having issues with commenting. If you lose another comment, do let me know! I’ll try to fish it out of the spam filter. 😀 ~W
I think you’ll find a lot of people are just like you. (not to take anything away from ya!) I “appear” very outgoing and extroverted… but I’m more introverted than you think. Give me a book + an afternoon too!
I like my close friends + intimate setting much more than a big party. So inviting them over for a dinner, a lunch or coffee is perfect. As I’m getting older, I just learned to let go of perfection. (kids help a lot with this) I use to worry about the house being alway clean, but I’ve let go of that fantasy too 🙂 I think I’m happier now!
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I actually think a ton of people who blog are like this. Those really social people are out DOING things, not relating on the computer. I suspect that blogging attracts reserved people because it gives us an outlet to express ourselves—which is sometimes difficult to do out there in the real world. ~W
Count me as another person who shares your shyness/introversion. My husband doesn’t understand that tendency at all. It sounds as if he and your mother are very similar in that regard! Anyway, I’m sure everything will be fine and you and your guests will have a lovely time. Best wishes!
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Thanks, Amy! I ended up having a lovely afternoon with my friend instead. ~W
Those flower pictures are so gorgeous.
And I agree with you about shyness/introversion and blogging. I’m sure it’s not true for everyone who blogs, but I know that I am way more comfortable expressing myself in writing.
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I’m sure there are lots of extroverted bloggers out there… I’ve yet to meet one, tho! 😀 ~W
My heavens…I’ve missed a bazillion posts…where have I been? Well, I have no idea. Everything looks so very fun, and I would have loved some iced mochas! It’s been so very hot here…I must do my iced hazelnut frapps this weekend!
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You’ve been out living LIFE, that’s a good thing! ~W
I know exactly what you mean–and I think you’re right about this bloggy world attracting like individuals. I have gotten adept in appearing extroverted in my 38 years, but painfully shy and private is what I really am. And I hate having busted my butt to clean and make food only for people to no-show. It’s not that I’m mad at *them*–I respect their reasons. It’s that I’m frustrated that (a) I don’t live in a way that is up to company, and (b) that I feel that I have to make things different for company. I know. Total conflict. What can I say? AND, while I am on the very long winded subject, what can I say about being MIA for so long here!? I am sorry–I’ve been absorbed in my moving thing. But I love coming here and I will try not to be gone for so long again! ~A 🙂
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Exactly! And no worries… moving is so stressful! I totally know what that’s like! 😀 Hang in there, almost done. 😀 ~W
lovely post and flowers. could you please share how to make a pitcher of iced mochas?
cheers,
Anu
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Hi Anu! I’ll try to post a recipe soon. Basically, though, you pull your espresso shots first for the amount you want to make–so to serve 6 people, 12 shots. Then you mix your chocolate (we use a mexican chocolate that is already sweetened) with the hot espresso, once mixed, you chill it to make a sort of syrup that you can then add to milk. We usually fill a large glass with ice, then use 7 oz of non-fat milk, add about 1-2 oz of the espresso syrup, and mix! If you’re serving them for a group, you would basically multiply the milk oz. by the number you’re making. So, 42 oz of milk +12 shots of espresso syrup. Easy! ~W
The heat had such ridiculous timing… They really would’ve loved your house and gorgeous street, even you’re front porch alone is absolutely charming. 🙂
Now that I’m seeing your photo of the flowers looking so perky, I’m totally cursing the sun for wilting them by the time I arrived. I’ve got to take a visit to the flower stand on the corner, I always drive by and longfully glance at them. I’m hoping the lady up the street starts selling hers again too, she had some amazing bouquets last August.
The iced mochas were really yummy, you should post the recipe… I agree with Anu!
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I could just kick myself for leaving them out in the heat all day. I should have kept them inside until you arrived! The other bouquet I purchased that stayed inside did just fine! Silly me. :DÂ And thanks for being such a good friend and showing up even after enduring all that sun yesterday. I had so much and it was great to hear about your cards!! Can’t wait to buy some. 😀 ~W
You know that post is so me, even to the love of the flowers and the social anxiety and the Mum that’s the opposite. Have not visited your site before, but could relate so well, and I love your photos.My mum couldn’t understand why I wanted to read all the time, but then I married into a university family and felt right at home.
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Oh, I’m glad you finally found a place to fit in and feel at home! And thank you for the comment!! I love meeting new readers and it’s a joy to hear from them. Thanks! ~W
Not once bitten, twice shy, I hope.
Iced mochas and roses are a winning combination, indeed!
Oh, my! Kathleen’s cards are divine!
Relax, little hostess. You shed charm wherever you go!
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No, I’m a glutton for punishment! 😀 And aren’t her cards amazing?? I’m so excited for her… she has more that will be available soon and wrapping paper! I can hardly wait!! (and thank you. 😀 ) ~W
I can barely wait to meet you, dear Wende! And social graces ARE everything. My mother in law (the ex) informed Abby that is she only knew which fork to use she would have more confidence in life.
As far as nerves go, Rich frequently says of mine, “You sure have a lot of last ones.” As far as your’s go, I still say it’s all those coffee drinks.
I like your bright flowers and table cloth!
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Heh, that Rich is funny. I wish caffeine was my problem. But, considering I wasn’t allowed to drink it until I was an adult and then I stopped drinking it 7 years ago (yes, yes, the caffeine in decaf is minimal) I’d say “nerves” aren’t “jitters.” Probably more a case of “early onset curmudgeon.” 😀 ~W
P.S. Could you tickle Kathleen’s ear with a feather and see if she will do more sparkly sparrow collage art? I think I need some. Thanks.
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I did! I did! ~W
That’s too bad that your guests didn’t show up, but I’m glad Kathleen came over to keep you company. Iced mochas sound really yummy 🙂
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They were yummy—especially on a 90 degree day! 😀 ~W