This is not me. Not today.
Today, I am in several places at once but none of which are my porch, none of which are taking in the view and a cuddle with Sophie. Instead, I’m frantically attempting to restock Thrifty Goodness, organize my work space to make room for an impending arrival, and keep my sanity all in one desperate gasp for oxygen. Deadlines loom and the sunlight fades and panic is my new best friend forever. Or, at least until I’m finished with this madness that, yes, I’ve brought on myself.
Recently I was asked what it means to be “productive, but not busy.” While I’ve been thinking about that theme for some time I don’t have an answer, at least not today. My hunch is that it has something to do with going about your day in a way where you still see the beauty around you. Something to do with flowing seamlessly from one task to the next with the intention of being present, not rushed; being focused on the other, not your “to-do” list. Something to do with walking, not running. Something that does not look like what I’ve been doing today.
Rush, rush, rush. The list of things I’ve done keeps growing. I’m not certain this is an accomplishment, for each task is quickly replaced by two more. Nor do I aspire to large lists of tasks completed. I suppose there are times in our lives where we cannot manage the deliberate pace of contemplation. There are moments when life hands you a list and expects you to accomplish—this strikes me as a way to survive, not necessarily as a way to really LIVE! I don’t think it’s healthy nor wise to exist at this pace; completing one task only to rush on to the next. Hording my accomplishments as if they were of value. Fortunately, it will be short lived in my case.
Yet, there is something to be said for still being aware, even in the rush to do. The rush to accomplish. Surely, there is more beauty in the world waiting just past this humongous list of things I’ve accomplished today? Perhaps if I stop, for just this moment, I will see it and it will see me?
Beauty:
Beauty is startling. She wars a gold shawl in the summer and sells seven kins of honey at the flea market. She is young and old at once, my daughter and my grandmother. In school she excelled in mathematics and poetry. Beauty doesn’t anger easily, but she was annoyed with the journalist who kept asking her about her favorites—as if she could have one favorite color or one favorite flower. She does not mind questions though, and she is fond of riddles. Beauty will dance with anyone who is brave enough to ask her. ~ J. Ruth Gendler
I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping to be brave enough to ask for a dance very, very soon.
(A special thank you to Kathleen for the photograph.)
what a great post… I so resonate with your beautiful words.
thanks for making me stop and think 🙂
___________________________________
Thanks, Kat. Hope you’re feeling better!! ~W
Girl, you just need to read the 4-Hour-Workweek and outsource everything, bwahahaha. No kidding about this online stuff being tons of work. Your store is darlin’ though. I’m glad you’re doing it.
___________________________________
I’m sure I’ll agree with you about the store next week when I can stop obsessing over it. 😀 ~W
Such on-point thoughts today Wende! I had the most productive weekend ever, but the busiest Monday today. The weekend was fulfilling and energizing and… just plain great. And today was tiring and a battle all the way. You so often post what I wish I was together enough to say.
_____________________________________
Oh, thank you Sulu. I know what you mean about those productive days that feel energizing. That’s not “this” week, I don’t think. ~W
I often find myself too rushed and goal-oriented to dance that dance or smell that beautiful flower. I try to do more of that during the summer, although not very much until Y Nationals is over. VERY BUSY. Not very productive the way I want to be.
____________________________________
I think there are some things that resist any effort on our parts to slow them down. Nationals seems like something that would naturally be “busy”. Sometimes, you have to go with it and savor the chaos! 😀 ~W
Every once in a while…just to stop and be in awe at these little things in life. A chance to catch our breaths, what a gift. I used to think it was the large awe-inspiring things…the gasps the wonder…and then I realized that I would often stand, uncomfortably tapping my foot, not knowing what to do, now that I admired that which I was supposed to. More and more now, I find myself stopping at intervals during the day, and I’ve been realizing lately that it is indeed the little things that bring in the beauty…that leave me breathless, and teary eyed…waiting, too, to finally dance…
_____________________________________
I know what you mean about the “big” moments vs. everyday grace. Frankly, I think it has everything to do with our perspective. If all we’re looking for are the big moments, the little stuff escapes us. And for me, this rushing around, leaves little time to do that and I tend to focus on the wrong things. Good news is, it’s not forever and it’s not a life I subscribe to willingly. ~W
Lovely sentiment & so well expressed!
___________________________________
Thank you! And for the record: I will consider myself fully evolved when I can practice what I preach during a MOVE. Because there is something about moving that causes me to chuck all my perspective and practice right out the window and start behaving like a crazy person. 😀 ~W
For me to stop and breathe is to be reminded just how beautiful you are.
___________________________________
That’s lovely, as are you. People are going to think I pay you to say these things. Oh! ~W
IZ is quite the romantic, yes?
This post is so timely for me. I’m all about the list and the hoarding of my daily accomplishments. (I paid the bills! I picked up the dry-cleaning! I scheduled the dentist appointments!)
But I don’t really know how to just “be”. Babette would suggest yoga, I think.
____________________________________
He is! List hoarding has its place, I suppose. And I suspect that some people flourish with a list. I certainly write them when my world gets so chaotic that I fear I will miss stuff if I don’t. And I write them to get motivated. For me, I’m not sure that the list is the enemy—but the perspective that I sometimes take to that list. The “finish this or die” perspective can’t be all that healthful, right?
As for just “being”. Yoga is one way, but not the only. And for me, never been that helpful for that reason, sorry Babette!. (And I’m not just picking on Yoga, because in Seminary, Centering Prayer was our equivalent to Yoga and all it ever did for me was put me to sleep! I’m more the walking meditation type!) I’m beginning to suspect that the “just being” comes in moments, much like the grace we’re seeking. And our job is to string those moments together. The idea that some practice or meditation is going to refashion me so that I’m always in that state has not proven to be true for me. Heh.
oh, now if i was to own a dog, then I would want a Sophie! She looks beautiful. What sort is she? We all have days/weeks/months when we run around playing catch up, that’s how we creative types work I guess. Love the poems, this ‘Beauty’ one is very special….go sit down with Sophie, just for a little while, it will sort you out and calm you so you will progress with your work in a better frame of mind.
_____________________________________
Sophie is a Welsh Terrier. They are a lovely breed with wonderful temperaments. Needless to say, we adore her. 😀 ~W
Exactly! I so needed to read this today. A friend recently made the innocent comment to me that Christmas is only 5 months away and I have lived in a state of panic ever since. My mind is racing with all the projects I want to get done for family and friends while completing the already in progress baby and birthday stuff for this summer. I haven’t been able to think clearly since those silly little word were uttered last week and I have felt completely panicked that I won’t get it all accomplished. This is just me, making these ridiculous demands on myself. Stop the madness, I want to dance!!
____________________________________
Ack! I think I would be panicking too over that. I’m trying to think of things in ONE day increments…slow my world down a little. ~W
My goodness chick! I go on vacation, can’t check your blog for a couple of days and you type LOTS! I’ll have to catch up later. Tomorrow we go to Disneyland and it’s WAYYYY past my bedtime already! Can’t wait to see you in about 10ish days! 🙂
___________________________________
Oh, enjoy Disneyland. It’s a favorite destination spot in this house. ~W
Thrifty goodness is amazing!! I love your yellow Anthro bowl below too! We have them in pink. But, the yellow is fab. As for me, always frantic always too busy. And always feeling to guilty is I slow down….. Hmmmm…. How to deal with all of it… xxo
_____________________________________
Oh, you work so hard, girly! And Thank you about TG. My ad on Modish starts on Sunday and I’m hoping for good results!! ~W
Ha, I was feeling good until I read Paula’s comment… now I’m feeling panicky too! Only 5 months, really?!
Weird – looks just like you 😛