Early in our marriage, IZ and my apartment was an accurate barometer of how our relationship was fairing. The cleaner it was, the more we were quarreling. I’m a stress cleaner and when we would argue, I found the most therapeutic response was to scour something. Quick. The bigger the argument, the more rooms I attacked. Conversely, if the apartment looked like a hurricane had rolled through, it was a safe bet we were contented and happy and not pushing the other’s buttons.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore a clean house. Who doesn’t really? I’m a fan of everything in its place and a place for everything. However, don’t look at me to get it all there. I’m hardly a great housekeeper. More often than not, the place for everything is exactly where I left it. Yes, I do think the staircase banister makes a fine coat rack. What’s your point?
I’m married to a man who is the epitome of order and his universe has had to expand to encompass the chaos I bring. In the unique manner that is marriage, his compulsiveness has in turn rubbed off on me. While I may not be naturally inclined to keep everything in place, I’ve learned to appreciate his ability to do so. It’s taken some time, but we’ve found a sort of equilibrium half-way between hospital sterile and county dump site. And somehow, we’ve established a cleaning pattern that doesn’t require a nuclear meltdown to get it started!
We are no longer newlyweds. Gone are the waves of bickering that would send me into a cleaning fury. We’ve grown up and can endure so much more of each other. It takes more than it once did to power up my cleaning machine and so, our house tends to fall into a creative messy pile and we stumble past it all with contented smiles on our faces.
However, I’m still a stress cleaner. And it’s a good thing too, because our house would never get cleaned except under threat of visiting company. These days, I clean when I’m less than happy with the world outside. When I get fed up with the injustices of the world that I feel so helpless to address. Or when thoughtless behavior of others harms the ones I love. I clean when the world feels ugly in hopes that it will be less so when I’m done. I know that ordering my interior world will not necessarily order the world outside; yet, I feel better about it all when I’m not living in a mess. It would be nice if I were righting the world, one clean space at a time, wouldn’t it? We would all look at our brooms and mops differently, if they were indeed ministers of grace.
Today, my house is getting cleaner by the hour. It’s not a solution to what is agitating me. But I have a feeling that when I’m done, it won’t matter so much.
Maybe not a Sunday sermon, but a wise reflection on cleaning! I am the neurotic cleaner in our home, and over the years some of my ways have rubbed off on my husband. And thankfully, some of his “relax, it’s not important” attitude has rubbed off on me, too. Cleaning our apartment is the way in which I clean my mind before I can attempt to tackle whatever problem I’m having. I hope your tidy house brings you some clarity today.
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It’s funny how we change and grow. ~W
Oh, I’m right there with you. Somehow a clean house does make the rest of life seem less topsy-turvy… I’m a therapeutic cleaner too. A trait I think rubbed off from my mom. I never fully appreciated it until now!
I hope you feel better soon.
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It never hurts to have a reason to clean! 😀 ~W
LOL – your humor is great – even when you are combating injustices. “hospital sterile and county dump site” — that’s too funny! And I like your pics of the tulips – especially the last one.
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I probably should have illustrated this post with photos of our grime. But, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to share your tulips. I adore my May Day flowers, thank you! ~W
The pics are gorgeous, just beautiful!! Way back when…in college, I had to clean the entire apartment before I could start on my studies, everything around me had to be clean and neat before I could think.
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Thank you! When I was in grad school, the best gift IZ ever gave me was the gift of a clean house at finals. When it would get close to that time each semester, he would ask me what I needed to stay sane—and then he’d make sure we had it on hand as well as completely clean our apartment. It makes a difference, thinking in a clean environment. ~W
owh I am a stress cleaner too. I remember when I was still in Uni, everytime there is an assignment due or exams I would start cleaning the house or BAKE something.
Now that I am married, I clean when the husband and I just finished fighting. :*)
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Oh yes, I’ve done that diversion studying thing–usually it was , hey, let’s craft something, I have a paper due! 😀 ~W
Those flowers are amazing–my very favorite colors! I am a stress READER. I bury my nose in a book and won’t come out. I just want to escape into a different world. I have made many emergency trips to the supermarket to find an interesting book at 11 p.m. I really need to have other voices in my head sometimes. I wish I were a stress cleaner! My house is pretty neat, but I live with messy people who undo most of my efforts. I love them anyway though.
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That’s funny about the books. One semester (a trying semester that included a whack-job professor who loathed me–the feeling was mutual) in order to avoid reading for this hell class, I read everything but! By the end of the semester, I had two stacks of advance reader copies (perk for working at a book store) that came up to the side of the bed finished. Ha! So, I get avoidance. ~WÂ
I love the pictures…more greeting card pics. 🙂 Being a stay home mom of kids in school, my days are spent tidying up. I do have Mondays scheduled as my CLEANING DAY. I scrub floors, toilets, sinks and try to do some laundry. Tuesday is laundry day, but I can get a load or two done on Mondays if I think about it. 🙂 I agree with you about wishing a clean space would bring about world peace and other agitations. I’d be cleaning all the time! And pushing my messy kids, husband and friends to do the same! 🙂 Today is Monday, so I will be cleaning, but I’m doing some teenager room sorting. The 16 yr old saves gum wrappers! I need to get the junk out of there to get her motivated to organize. fun! I hope your world is full of peace today! 🙂
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I don’t want to even look at the 10 year old’s space. The only reason I’m not freaking out about it, is because he only has to take 6 short steps from his room into my office and point to the chaos that Thrifty Goodness has wrought. I’m sure I’d be lectured about logs and specks. 😀 ~W
OH, I’m a company cleaner. I do the once over at least once a week whether it needs it or not..ahem. But, I do my best cleaning when I know I’m going to have company, I used to say…If I didn’t have a party the house would never get clean!
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Yeah, we’re the same. We keep it sanitary but certainly not immaculate unless company is coming. And then, God forbid, they see how we really live. 😀 ~W
those tulip pics are gorgeous!
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Thank you! They were really lovely but surprisingly difficult to photograph. ~W
Organized Chaos. That is all I have to say. My home. OC. And a man who doesn’t care. So, how can I even get motivated? If he is willing to jump over the piles of what he calls, teenage girl junk. No, I am not a teenager, but I am girly, and he is much older than me. Therefore, I think he finds charm in heeps of heels, and clothing, the fluffy sort, strewn everywhere….Or perhaps, that is just a romantic theory. Maybe we are both slobs. 🙂
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Oh, I wish there was some organization in my chaos. S i g h. I keep thinking I’ll actually get my office space organized, painted, and otherwise cleaned: however, I just keep bringing in more Thrifty Goodness stock and the mess is multiplying. ~W
I am exactly the same way!!! I clean when I am frustrated, angry, or upset. I like living in a clean place…I adore it. It seems though that there has to be something plaguing me negatively in order for me to take my frustration out on the dirt and grime. I hope your agitation goes away. Hopefully after you scour the house, you will feel better. Peace and serenity your way!!
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Or, maybe I’ll be attacked by an angry neighbor that will inspire some weeding outdoors! 😀 ~W
I love this post. A wise reflection, indeed. And the pictures! God! You are awesome.
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Thank you… I’ve been told that my pictures are good because I have a good camera (the subtext being I have no talent and am just lucky to get good pictures!) so I guess my camera is awesome! 😀 ~W
But wait, why are you agitated? I mean, there’s always tons of horrible stuff in the world. But did something new happen that I don’t know about?
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Uh, let’s see:
Other than that, I’m generally ready to pack my boxes and move to the South; where I’m convinced that life is gentler and people (neighbors, friends, strangers) share my values. In other words, nothing new. 😀 ~W
Gosh, who’s infringing?? That’s awful. I mean, all the other stuff is awful, too! But for some reason the copyright infringement, to me, feels…well, like someone broke into my house and stole something physically. Anyway–the tulips are stunning, and I hope at least the clean house helps settle your mind. I find that I can’t really get a good head of steam in my studio unless it’s clean. And given my cleaning habits, this is a problem. 🙂
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A clean space is inspiring. Lately, I’ve been walking into my office and wishing it were clean—it’s so difficult to do anything in there. So, I’m feeling you. ~W
Hee hee, the other day I was dreaming of living in my trailer, by myself. It would be so neat and clean, and smell good from my little candles. None of my family would be allowed to come in. Wow, that would be nice. But I guess it would get lonely, so I’ll stay in the messy house. Oh, by the way, I went through the 16 yr old’s room, got BIG piles of junk out on her bed and floor for her to sort and surprisingly, she got rid of a lot! Gotta love that! 🙂
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Good Job, Mom! 😀 ~W