Sadness Pervades
At the moment, I’m fighting tears. Our dog… newly arrived dog… has been to the vet twice in the past two days. What we thought was a routine UTI after being spayed is now a big question mark. It’s possible that it will be something manageable. I’ll spare you the details, but the outlook is a little grim tonight.
Where I lose it, where I completely shut down is the knowledge that if the results tell us what we suspect is coming, I will have to find the words to tell our son. I can’t find the words to tell you—the universe of the internet. How will I ever find the words for my kid? You know, I’m trained to do this. To walk with people in these moments. But NOTHING prepares you to walk with your own child. Nothing. And my only prayer this evening is, “Please, God, don’t let this dog die.” Because I can’t bear to ask for the words.
UPDATE:
We have heard from the Vet—and she is stumped. Which is good news, sort of. All of the symptoms she has are, evidently, completely unrelated. The Vet suspects a very rare post-op infection in addition to the UTI (which she now suspects the first round of antibiotics cleared quickly enough to mask the bladder aspiration they did yesterday!). So, yet another round of antibiotics have been ordered. The Vet did apologize—since it appears they are the cause of all this trauma.
I’m feeling a little stupid for over-reacting last night. But honestly—even the Vet suspected the cursed “L” word. And while it appears for the moment that our dog is just ODD like the rest of the family, I was ready this morning to talk to Boy Wonder after my tears last night. This is all a little TMI just to say, whew.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:02 pm
oh, man. that sucks. i happen to believe that straight talk is the way to go, but saying that doesn’t make anything better.
i am praying for puppy-girl and y’all.
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Thank you. I’m probably over-reacting. But every time I consider the possibility a new wave a tears takes over. Your prayers are more than appreciated, they’re coveted. ~Wen
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:04 pm
I know from reading his blog how difficult that conversation would be. The news sounds OK to me–better than expected. When you love someone(even a dog), you risk terrible hurt. And it’s all a life learning experience. But I hope you get to celebrate.
November 4th, 2006 at 12:45 am
Everything will be okay. I saw her on Halloween and she did not look like a lackluster doggie. She had a rough trip, then she held it for three days, but now she’s bonding and all will resolve. You just watch.
November 4th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
I’m glad to hear that things are looking better. I am so incredibly glad that I have not had to have any of those conversations. They are inevitable, though.
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I’ll admit I’m kinda banking on it being further down the road. Far enough out, in fact, that Boy Wonder will be able to pick me up off the floor when it happens. ~W