Crashing Down

As expected the power went down for most of Astoria with last night’s storm. It’s not the only thing that came crashing to the ground. While IZ was calling me outside to admire the visible white-caps on the river I could hear Boy Wonder shouting in the Dining room.

“Mom, Mom, MOM!!! The wind is blowing down the tree. THE WIND IS BLOWING DOWN THE TREE.”

Now, our kid has inherited my tendency toward hyperbole… so I didn’t take him too seriously. However, when I stepped back inside and headed to the window where he was watching the storm, it was pretty easy to see why he was upset.


Visibly shaken, he pelted me with his fear, “I TOLD you it was coming down! I tried to warn you! If you had only listened!” I very calmly explained that no amount of warning would have stopped this. If the wind was going to take down a tree that size, the only thing we could do was get out of the way. Then I headed to my neighbor’s house to make sure he was OK. Our 40′ Conifer was now in his backyard.


Fortunately, the tree just grazed his siding and caused no real damage to his property. At first we couldn’t raise him and I began to panic—so, I dashed off to the backyard to make sure he wasn’t under our now down tree. He wasn’t. In fact, he was gleefully explaining to IZ ,who had located him, that he was overjoyed to have our tree down. His view is vastly expanded. He only wishes it had taken down our unsightly shed with its fall. Joy.

Miraculously, no one was hurt and as it was the only major tree in our yard, we were confident that if the roof didn’t fly off, we were going to weather this storm just fine.

We were wrong. Poor IZ. While we woke to power this morning, his fancy Mercedes Benz of a printer suffered one too many jolts with the surge before we lost power and was refusing to boot up. It too was down. And getting it repaired is going to rival the expense of removing that tree. It seems that when you drive a Mercedes Benz getting your headlamp replaced can cost a fortune, even if it does read Chrylser on the casing… He spent the better part of his day on the phone with assorted contractors and claims adjusters.

Me? Well, I had put off doing blood work that was scheduled for yesterday. One day wasn’t going to cause any harm and I simply wasn’t motivated to do it yesterday. But putting it off until Monday would yield angry phone calls from my Dr.’s Office and I’ve had just about enough of people being snarky my direction… so, off I went.

Now, I have my blood drawn on a fairly regular basis… it’s one of the “perks” of being auto-immune. However, even regularity doesn’t keep me from being a complete weenie when it comes to needles. I’m better than I used to be. I used to have to take a posse of people with me to cheer me on and then drive me home when I inevitably passed out. But, with time, I’ve discovered that I can get through a blood draw with minimal drama as long as I can go horizontal BEFORE they start brandishing needles. Imagine my shock when I was told that the portable bed they usually haul out to accommodate my weenie antics was broken. Oh yes! Unless I wanted to spend an ungodly sum to have the blood pull in the E.R. I was doing this sitting up. First the tree, then the printer, it seemed I was next to come crashing down.

There was only one thing to do: I whipped out my red lipstick and applied a quick coat. There is nothing better for boosting your courage, nothing that can help you brace for the inevitable loss of dignity like red lipstick. Besides, if you are going to find yourself prone on a linoleum floor while several people wrench their backs trying to pry you free, you might as well look good comatose.

With freshly painted lips, I had the presence of mind to scoot my ample backside to the edge of the chair and prop my head back so that all the blood in my noggin didn’t completely drain to my feet. Amazingly, I didn’t go under.


It would seem that I wasn’t destined to come crashing down today after all. A little red lipstick and you can face the world, Dear Reader. Remember that the next time you feel like you might be gearing up to greet the linoleum face down.

18 Responses to “Crashing Down”

  • IZ:

    Gives new meaning to the phrase “paint it red”… too bad for the printer and the tree they don’t wear lipstick – but you my dear, you look marvelous!


    It could have been so much worse, eh?  And… thank you! *blush* 😀 ~ W

  • I really admire you! Given the same circumstances, I would most likely be posting about panic attacks during the storm and bitching about the loss of the tree. Your neighbor sounds, um, colorful.

    You’re inspiring as well. Good for you for facing your fear. Make-up can definitely help…if you don’t look good, you don’t feel good, is what Mom always said. Don’t know if I believe it, but it sounds good.

    Oh, and you’re pretty!


    Oh! Thanks… see, now I’m just blushing. And I think your mom is right. ~W

  • Tom:

    Red. Lipstick.

    Use that stuff carefully, young lady, for you do not know what you have.

    I have made some very bad, horrible, no good, great for the weekend, why am I here, type decisions in my life because of red lipstick.

    So have many of my friends.


    I’ll keep that in mind! 😉 I take it that you’re advocating for warning labels on Red Lipstick. Heh~W

  • HG:

    You are too adorable!


    You all are too easily distracted!  Did you notice the tree???? (heh… thank you!) ~W

  • We’re good over here… wow… Mr. Toad’s wild ride that was! I saw your tree IRL (I didn’t know at the time it was yours). Keep looking beyond the tree and you’ll see my fence in the neighbors yard across from you. Maybe you can see the top of our redwood that snapped off?

    So thankful you tree landed NEXT to your neighbors house! Love the red lipstick! What did I do??? I put socks on with my flip flops.


    I know, that could have been so much worse!  Considering those winds, we got really, really lucky! I’m glad you are OK!  I thought about you all night—it’s kinda fun knowing a neighbor so close! 😀 ~W

  • The red lipstick rocks! that is a huge tree; I’m glad everyone is OK. My parents had some of the “big boys” come down near their house,which is why they were without power for such a long time.


    Thank you! Yeah, the tree just brushed our neighbor’s—blessedly didn’t take out his window or worse!  I hope you guys are doing ok! ~W

  • fallen trees, bees in the house, no electricity… oh what fun we had too! 😉
    I’m so glad to hear that big thing didn’t take out your neighbors house, and that he had a good sense of humor about it. Yikes, close call!

    My nerves were so rattled still the next day that when I made coffee that morning I forgot to replace the carafe on the maker after I poured in the water. I somehow managed to put it in the sink, and walked off. My counter was drenched!


    Bees in the house? Wow! How’d that happen?  Hopefully your damage wasn’t too substantial.  I’m glad you guys are ok—it was unnerving and I think that’s about enough weather! 😀 ~W

  • well you’ve had an eventful day. eep. apparently your storm has come down here now because it is snowing quite energeticlly outside. the trees were recently removed, so all i had to do for preparation was to preemptively put the chains on the car and flip up the windshield whipers.

    no needles, though. ugh. haven’t had that for a while.

    must needs go pucrchase makeup now. hmm.


    Well, this storm was massive for the West Coast.  I have friends up in Washington still waiting for power and it appears there is a shortage of gas.  With snow on their horizons it doesn’t look good for them.  Keep them in your prayers! ~W

  • […] Evidently and “Dude Mung” have more from Astoria, and James Duncan Davidson weights in from Portland. […]

  • I’ll have to get some lip stick before the 28 you say?


    I figured you for lost, to be honest! ~W

  • WHEW I’m glad the tree didn’t do damage to anybody… take care!


    Thank you!  Best of luck on your exams this week!  ~W

  • Quite a storm … glad everyone is okay. Sorry the tree didn’t make it. I was going to say something about the female weather wolf, but you’d only respond with “My blog, my rules!” again … and there ain’t no winnin’ that argument 😉

    I will have to try the red lipstick trick. I use ‘natural splurge’ since red isn’t good on me, but maybe I can go for a more rose tone and see if that brings me courage in a dicey situation 😉 Normally I just use bad language, but I’m trying to clean up my act. No, I’m not. 😀


    Natural Splurge is a color??? ~W

  • Good Grief! So sorry you lost your tree! Did your view improve as well as your neighbors?! We weathered the storm just fine but my very next door neighbors are still without power.
    Love the red lipstick! I so agree, even a passed out girl’s gotta look good…


    Exactly!  Our view is wee bit better… but because of the angle, his is vastly superior now! 😀 ~W

  • You look fantastic!


    You are too kind!  ~Wen

  • The label on the bottom of the lipstick tube is worn half off … it’s either “natural” or “noticeable” or “notorious” or something-splurge. Since the color is brownish/rose-ish/natural-ish, I went with my best guess 🙂


    Heh… good guess! 😀 I’d so love the job of naming things.  ~W

  • Drama abounded that’s for sure. I’m glad the tree didn’t cave in your neighbor or his house. It looks like it might have been sick….so be careful and clean your saw after you chop it up. I’m going to tell Rejjie your lipstick treatment and see if that helps her too! What a fine solution!


    I hope the red lipstick works for Rejjie!  And, you overestimate me, thinking I’d have a saw. ~W

  • Princess' Mom:

    I love your neighbor. He just sounds like such an awesome guy to have next door.

    May I suggest a nice fruit tree, after you’re done with the shed?

    However, it may take awhile to clear away that cord of next year’s firewood. Still want to get rid of that woodstove????


    The wood is no longer mine as it now sits on my neighbor’s property. It became his to claim and clean up when it fell. But, as we are using an environmentally responsible product to burn in our wood stove, (burns cleaner than wood… no chems, etc…) we didn’t need the wood anyhow. 😀 He does burn wood, so I’m guessing he won’t mind cutting it all down! ~W

  • […] The sound of chainsaws woke me after a particularly difficult night of sleep. If you can call it sleep. It wasn’t early, but I was trying to catch up on what I’d lost during the night.  I have plans that involve Scrabble tonight and I’m going to be humiliated even with sleep! This noise has been a long time coming. The mammoth tree that came down in last year’s record storm is finally leaving and along with it, the spider infested shed that was completely rotten. As you can see from the photos in the post below, it was Ivy and plain stubbornness keeping the thing standing. Besides being useless, it has also become the Black Widow Hotel for the neighborhood. Yikes!  So, down it came. […]

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